Have you ever been humming along in your day, taking care of business, perhaps
putting out a fire or two, patting yourself on the back for your coping skills? And then,
SPLAT! KAPOW! Someone comes along to tell you that you very clearly need a new
skill set for the very things for which you felt so accomplished?

Okay, I know that is a lot of generalization, but I was stung, seriously stung!, that I
thought I was taking care of a problem for someone but in fact, we were on 2 different
planets. Speaking different languages, seeing through different filters. Something like
this:

That could have been me – WHAT? HUH? I DONʼT UNDERSTAND YOU! (minus the
humor).

I heard something recently that has been rolling around in my (already rattling) brain for
a while now that has me re-thinking how I interact with people that might not realize
right out of the box how lovable I am.

In Matthew 4:18-19, the Bible tells us that “one day as Jesus was walking along the
shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers — Simon, also called Peter, and
Andrew – throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. Jesus called out to
them, ʻCome, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!ʼ”

If my purpose is to reflect a light, how often to I fish with the kind of bait other people are
looking for, instead of the default bait I already have in my sad little tackle box? How
often do I really take the time to understand the perspective and the intent of the person
across from me so I can really interact and invest, instead of achieving my goal at that
moment, in that circumstance.

Now, just to be real, I donʼt typically have random conversations with the intent of
bringing someone that moment to my beliefs. But 1 Peter 3:15 tells us to “always be
prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope
that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”

So maybe I could spend a little more time concentrating on speaking the other personʼs
language instead of continuing to honk at them in mine?

“The goal of the Christian life is to love well. Jesus was aware that true spirituality
included not only loving God, but also the skill of loving others maturely… Growing into
an emotionally mature Christian person includes experiencing each individual, including
myself as sacred, or as Martin Buber, great Jewish theologian put it, as a ʻThouʼ rather
than an ʻIt.ʼ

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero

Iʼm transformed by the hope I have, but to speak with gentleness and respect, whether I
am talking about eternity or talking about a dining table is where I want my focus to be
this Christmas. And beyond.

So Iʼd better add some new tools to my skill set.

Tags: communication, reflection, respect, understanding