I knew I always wanted to have children, but I just wasn’t too sure about the being pregnant part. I was actually kind of scared. I was already leery about having a little human being bouncing around inside of me, but it was when he/she was going to come out (more importantly where he/she was going to come out) that really terrified me. When I became pregnant the first time, I did everything I could to convince my doctors to go “old school” with me…just knock me completely out, and wake me when the baby arrived. No such luck. Everyone assured me that I would want the birthing experience. I tried to explain that I need no experience just my baby. Again, my request had fallen on deaf ears. I suffered with gestational diabetes in my first pregnancy which made my baby girl grow faster and bigger until she no longer had room to move. I thankfully went into labor at 39 weeks; a few more days and I was sure I would have split in half.
28 1/2 hours into labor (20 or so of them without an epidural) and maxed out on Pitocin (labor inducing drug), I still had not dilated a single centimeter! My midwife kneeled at my bedside and took my hand and said, “Sweetie, it looks like we are going to have to do an emergency C-section.” She was so apologetic as if this news were just going to break my heart. I had to quickly remind her that I originally wanted to be completely knocked out for this! “Now, I don’t want you to feel like you are less than a woman for not delivering your baby vaginally,” she said sweetly. My reply was: “Go get the d*** knife!”
Hearing her mother say “knife” must have struck a chord with my daughter because when the midwife returned to prepare me for surgery, I was dilated 9 centimeters! “Okay, then, I guess you are going to push!” And push I did for 45 minutes. Then panic ensued. “Uh oh,” the midwife says then begins to give orders to the nurses, and I remember hearing something to the effect of “get the doctor now.” She proceeds to instruct my husband to get up on the bed and put his fist in my abdomen and press hard all the while telling me to keep pushing and don’t stop! Mind you I have not taken a breath in a while so how on earth I was to continue pushing (at the same time panicked over what was happening) was a mystery. But I did as I was told and my little (big) baby emerged from my body.
When all was settled and I had my baby in my arms, I asked “What the hell happened?” My midwife told me that her shoulder had gotten stuck and at the time, there were two options, break the baby’s collar bone to get her out, or cut me–and it would not have been a pretty cut. Thankfully due to my husband punching me in the gut, she came out with no damage to either of us.
Fast forward to pregnancy number two. Statistically, once you have gestational diabetes, you will most likely get it in all subsequent pregnancies. Add me to the stats! Knowing my history, I was prepared to have another large baby that would run out of room beginning at 36 or 37 weeks. I stayed true to form. I also learned that statistically, if one baby gets stuck (shoulder dysplasia) it is highly probable that your subsequent babies will get stuck. My doctor and I had a candid discussion about having a scheduled C-section this go round. I happily accepted. I did not want to go through another agonizingly long labor with the possibility of an emergency C-section or a broken baby collar bone. Just cut out the middle man, I say!
I went into labor one week before my scheduled C-section. Unlike last time, I had dilated one centimeter about two hours into labor. In the hospital, I had a choice to make; try it vaginally or go ahead with the C-section. This was complete torture! I am not a stranger to surgery, and I am not afraid of it, but I struggled with whether or not I was doing the right thing. My mind drifted to the birth of my daughter. I really did not want to go through the hours and hours of agony and near tragedy that I previously experienced. But then I had to wonder if surgery really necessary? Sadly, I had to have this mind-splitting conversation with myself in a matter of minutes! My husband was wrestling with it all too. His concern was mainly for me and how I would fair after such evasive surgery. Ultimately he said, “You know your body, babe. Do what you know is best for you!” I was admitted to the hospital at midnight, and at 4 am, my son was born via C-section.
As you can tell, I am not at all shy about sharing my birth experiences. On a few particular occasions when I have shared my story, I have been called a wimp for getting the epidural both times. I have also been told that I took the easy way out…the cowardly way out for scheduling a C-section (and then of course going through with it when I could have gone vaginal). Though I am very satisfied with the decisions I made (I have two very beautiful and healthy children to show for it) it did sadden me a bit that anyone–especially a fellow mother–could say these things to me! For one, no two pregnancies are alike–not even in the same body. So how could another person presume to tell me what was better for my situation or for my body?
To C or not to C? Many women get asked this question and ask it of themselves. When I have been asked which method of childbirth I liked better, my answer is: both. Though I did not like the 29 1/2 hours of labor that preceded the vaginal birth, the pushing was not as bad as I originally anticipated. If I could have been guaranteed that the labor would be much shorter, and my child would not get stuck, sure, I would have gone au natural–with painkillers of course–the next time. But as we all know, there are no guarantees.
The C-section was an absolute breeze! While on the table, I asked, “When are you guys gonna get started?” The surgeons replied, “We are pulling the baby out now!” He was out in a flash, and his head did not need to be molded into an acceptable shape!
So, what’s my point? You do what is best for YOU, your overall health, and the health of your baby despite the solicited (and unsolicited) opinions of family members, friends, and strangers. If you have medical and family histories that sway you one way or the other, make sure you know what benefits and risks are involved. For example, if you are a slow healer and have a low tolerance for pain, a scheduled C-section may not be a good decision. Get the best medical advice you can, as well as consult others about their experiences. Pay attention to your body and what it tells you. Women were born with this wonderful inbred tool called intuition. You will know with every fiber of your being what you should do. Take all outside influences into consideration, but ultimately go with your gut…and the epidural!
Photo Credit © Zerli | Dreamstime.com
Posted by: Wifey on January 21, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Great article. I love your honesty. It’s sad to hear that other moms passed judgment on you. I definitely believe in doing what’s best for YOU.
Smiles,
Wifey – mother of two and poster child for epidurals.
Posted by: Christie Crowder on January 22, 2009 at 9:52 am
Thanks! I appreciate your comment! Yes, we women/moms need to take our own needs into consideration more often!
Posted by: Rob in CT on January 25, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Can’t say I disagree with you more. I would never suggest that someone have their baby come into this world in a drug induced stupor. There is a decided difference between babies born without the use of drugs and ones who aren’t. Yes I am a man and I don’t feel what a woman feels. However, my wife went through a very difficult labor and never once asked for drugs or took them. EVERYONE tells us how alert our baby is. Go ahead and ream me if you want but for thousands of years women were able to give birth without epidurals. In the end all that matters is the babies are here and you are happy with your choices.
Posted by: Beth Anderson on January 25, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Both my children were delivered via emergency C-section. Both were at risk of dying if the surgery was not performed. My doctors made the decisions for me. I had an epidural with the first and nothing with the second. Both ended up with the same outcome. Both my children have test gifted/high IQ. Both experienced trama at birth.
Posted by: Christie Crowder on January 25, 2009 at 4:27 pm
To Rob in CT: Both of my children were VERY alert when they were born and are very bright and gifted children. I am glad your wife was able to endure her difficult pregnancy without the aid of medication. I have no desire to ream you as you stated clearly that our babies are here… I will add alive and VERY well…and we are all happy with our choices. I am pleased you took the time to read this article and give your comments.