Have you ever been betrayed?

Have you ever had the feeling?

It knocks the breath out of you hard; you feel pain in your heart

It makes one feel like a fool

I know this is a sensitive subject to chat about, but I thought I would share my experience with you all at an age of 47…it still happens!

Do not follow where the path may lead.  Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friendship is one of the most divine relationships of all. It carries the essence of all other relations. There are no expectations in friendship and neither are there any limits. Friendship is no less than a spiritual bond between two individuals.

True friends are hard to find and even harder to keep. With increasing dishonesty, corruption, and disloyalty, it is hard to find the right person to trust and accept as a friend. With so many people believing in gossip and cheap plots, betrayal of friendship has become very common. People are so self absorbed these days that they don’t tend to see whether the friends they have are trustworthy individuals or not. Worse are those people who betray true friends because of materialistic pleasures. Coping up with friends cheating is quite hard, more so if you have no fault of yours. But, life goes on and you make new friends. You push away your hurtful past and learn a valuable lesson from it.

When friends let you down and are not there for you when you need them the most, it is known as betrayal. Sometimes the reason why friends betray you is just not known. When you are at the receiving end, you feel hurt, confused and angry. You demand answers as to why have you been betrayed for absolutely no fault of yours. The talks end abruptly, phone calls are not returned, letters remain unanswered and there is no contact whatsoever.

SHATTERED, furious, resentful, heartbroken, numb, humiliated, rejected, hurt, and NOT SAFE – these are just some of the feelings we experience when we’ve been betrayed.

It is ok to give yourself permission upset, hurt, ticked off, frustrated, sad and even disappointed…AND THEN MOVE ON!  Because at some point, hate, anger, sadness will CONSUME you!

You will have to come to terms with reality and accept that things were not meant to be.
Though it may seem like the end of the world, there are ways to cope up with it.

* Determine if the whole thing was a misunderstanding. It’s easy to get emotional (positive or negative) with friends and you may have rushed to conclusions.

* Keep things in perspective.

* Be willing to forgive despite your anger. This is key to getting past your anger towards them and not harboring grudges.

* Consider whether or not you want to maintain a friendly relationship with the person. Many times, a friend that betrays once will do it again.

* Try to relax and take some time alone. Meditate, shop, dance, do whatever you have to do to make yourself happy. You are more likely to find a worthwhile solution while doing something you enjoy.

There is no point in dragging along a friendship when you know you are not comfortable with it. End it politely and quickly and most importantly, don’t regret your action. If you start feeling sorry, you are putting yourself in trouble. There is a reason for every action you take and you must have thought a lot about it before making a decision. Learn to trust your gut feelings (intuitions) and have confidence in yourself.

Remembered is that these betrayals are experiences that teach you valuable lessons in life.

Nobody’s journey is seamless or smooth, we all stumble, and we all have setbacks. If things go wrong, you hit a dead end as you will…it’s just life’s way of saying time to change course. Every failures, every crisis, every difficult time…ASK YOURSELF…

WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSE TO TEACH ME?

NOT…

Why is this happening to me?

YET…

What is this suppose to teach me?

KNOW YOUR OWN WORTH…KNOW YOUR OWN POWER

Don’t be afraid to seek help and talk about it to others. Such betrayals should not stop you from trusting people and making new friends.

Tips

* Follow your instincts and past experiences when it comes to trusting people. There are, obviously, some people you can never trust and some people you can.

* One of the things I have tried very hard to eliminate from my life is negativity. Negativity is nothing but toxic energy. This toxic energy can come in the form of toxic people, or energy whose only job is to suck and drain the life out of you; or toxic situations. When I find myself in one of these toxic environments, be it with people or circumstances, if I cannot turn the situation around, then I merely excuse myself and remove myself.

Live consciously, stay in the present moment. This is difficult to do if you are prone towards worrying about the future and fretting over the past.

The past has NO power and the future has NO presence

What you really want is to be surrounded by people you trust and treasure and people that cherish you.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same. ~Flavia Weedn

I truly hope you can benefit from my journey and discover the support to get over any betrayals in your life with grace and ease.

Photo Credit © Astroid | Dreamstime.com

Tags: betrayal, decisions, friendship, perspective, relationships, Self-awareness