Slip into the gap between thoughts
Deepak Chopra MD
ILLNESS IS TO MANY AMERICANS their only form of meditation and self-nourishment. We are so busy rushing through our lives that being sick has become an acceptable way of stopping or slowing down. Injury due to carelessness (often because of our rushing) is another way we are forced to slow down.
Both sickness and injury have become institutionalized in our society. In other words, they have become acceptable to the point that $1 trillion is being poured yearly into the institutions and people who support disease — hospitals, clinics, doctors, nurses, orderlies, drug and insurance companies, medical equipment manufacturers, etc.
Illness and injury are not the only ways we try to give our mind and bodies the rest, attention, and nurturing they crave. Drugs, sex, music, and prayer are other common vehicles for meditation, or quieting of the mind. We often begin using these without much thought: we just know we like the feeling we get when using them.
Some drugs (and here I don’t differentiate between recreational and pharmaceutical drugs) can make you “forget your troubles” by diverting your energy to zombieland. Others elevate your mood, speed you up, help you create hallucinations, reduce your hallucinations, obliterate your pain, or otherwise change your ordinary consciousness. For many people these changes are enough to modify the inner mindscape for a short while — then more of the drug is needed or desired.
“Sleep and sex are the only ways I know how to turn my head off,” I used to say in the late 70′s. I didn’t know about intentional meditation then, and often was swept into sexual relationships simply for the need I had for internal quiet. Somehow I learned to focus my attention on sensations during sex, allowing me needed relief from a brain constantly in gear, and encouraging my sexual awareness to develop at the same time. Reading “Mystical Sex as Meditation” by Louis Meldman in his book Mystical Sex helped me reach a better understanding of my sexual seeking.
On my life journey I also discovered rock and roll and alcohol, both of which drown out sensation and thinking (though I’m told not as well as heroin). I also found marijuana, which accelerates awareness, on my way to a more mindful way of existence. Ancient Chinese, South American, and Indian people used techniques of meditation which included ingesting or smoking various herbal mixtures to enhance the meditative experience.
Listening to music has often helped me reach an internal balance — a spiritual and emotional balance (physical balance also needs the right nutrition!). Music does this for many people. Music without words can help us turn off the intellect, the thinking/rational left brain, allowing us to get more in touch with our emotional/sensual right brain. Once we learn how to switch from left to right — or right to center if we are particularly right-brained to start with (many lefties are right-brained) — we can learn to use both sides of our brains in a balanced manner. Balance is what serves us best.
Prayer is another traditional way that people get the benefits of meditation, and for those who believe in God, or want to connect with the universe, prayer is a particularly good way. By allowing ourselves to give thanks for our blessings, to ask for help, to give ourselves over to a higher energy or power, we tap into the positive energy of the universe.
I am grateful to be part of a growing movement of people emphasizing a natural, nontoxic way of enabling the body (and the whole person) to rebalance and heal compared to what is being offered and has been offered traditionally by our health care system. Holistic/alternative health practitioners, New Agers, senior citizens, athletes and movie stars, plus thousands of ordinary people use traditional Eastern meditative techniques (including mantras and candlelight for focus), and are learning yoga, a more physical meditation, for creating balance in their lives.
Just after my diagnosis of ovarian cancer, meditation calmed me from the terror of knowing I was carrying a monster within me. I imagined the mass much like Rosemary’s baby — part me, part evil. I meditated as often as I could, perhaps 6-8 times a day, to help myself stay centered. I knew dealing with cancer would take all my focus and energy. It was during these meditative states of consciousness that my connections to the energy of the universe became most clear, and my connection to all living things was strengthened. I’m convinced that my healing has been largely due to the connections I made, not only with the universal energy, but also with loved ones, and with myself.
Meditation helps us quiet the chatter that goes on in our minds. Ordinarily our thoughts speed by so fast we can hardly catch them, and we worry about events from the past and events that haven’t even happened yet (and most likely won’t happen). We are filled up with other people’s talking — at work, at home, in the car, through constant television and radio.
We filter neighbors, sirens, barking dogs, whining engines, and other noise as best we can, making room for other mind efforts like reading a book, talking on the phone, or working at the computer. Rarely do we spend any significant quiet time really alone — doing nothing, thinking nothing, judging nothing. To do so would be to change our consciousness.
Why would one want to change his consciousness? Leaving the intellect behind is like Carlos Castaneda being hit by Don Juan between the shoulder blades and going into another dimension, and healing is best done in this state. Breathing slows and deepens naturally; the heart and circulation slow. Biochemical balance is best attained under these circumstances as there is less for the body to do — less strain and pressure, less turmoil and agitation.
By reducing the amount and frequency of noise coming into (and going on in) our minds, we allow our bodies to begin the process of rebalancing and nourishing. Meditation actually changes our biochemistry. Getting in touch with our internal workings is another benefit, as it allows us the opportunity to begin the learning process that accompanies self awareness and spiritual growth.
A “side effect” of meditation is the opening up of the pathways to your inner creativity and to your heart, allowing this creative energy and love to spring forth into your consciousness. There are no intellectual script lines from your past stopping you.
To meditate it’s best if there is no television, no radio, no music on. It’s hard to meditate with the TV on (but not impossible). So turn it off. If you’re used to having the TV on all the time, like I was, turn it off two or three times a day. Postpone turning it on in the morning. If you’ve been out, postpone turning it on when you first get home. Sometimes it helps when changing a behavior to start in little steps, and learning to meditate is begun by learning to be quiet, and learning to be alone. You can also meditate in a group, like you can pray in a group; but in the end, like dying, meditation is a solitary experience.
Ideally you will meditate when you can control your immediate surroundings. Reduce the external stress on your body, like too much heat or noise (dealing with these divert energy from the healing process). If you haven’t done any of the breathing exercises in the “Breathing” chapter, try some of them first. They are excellent ways to begin building self awareness. Then try the following meditations, all of which I used during my convalescence to dissolve the anxieties of daily life through mind quieting and balancing. They put my body and mind in a better place for the healing process, and they will yours, also.
Meditations
Unless otherwise instructed, find a comfortable place to sit where you can support your head, moving a chair against a wall if you need to. Close your eyes. Extend your breathing slightly, slowly taking in more and more air.
1. Thought watching
Watch your thoughts as they go whizzing by on your mental blackboard. Don’t try to stop them, just watch them. You might see images, or you might see words.
Thoughts like “I feel really stupid” or “I hope I don’t go to sleep” are perfectly all right. Just watch the thoughts go by.
Don’t be judgmental of your thoughts. You may find yourself taking a deep breath.
2. Listening
Listen to the sounds in the room where you are. I hear a clock ticking, my computer humming, the refrigerator turning on. What do you hear?
Listen to the sounds that are outside your room (it helps if the window is open). I hear the wind rustling the leaves on the tree outside my window. I hear a faraway airplane. I hear a dog bark. What do you hear?
The next time you are outside, listen to the sounds you hear. What are they?
How are they different than the way they sounded when you were inside listening?
The next time you are downtown, or in a city, listen to the sounds you hear.
Someday at 3:30 pm when school is out, listen to the sounds you hear.
Try listening to the sounds you hear in a park or in the country, during the day, and at night.
How are the sounds you hear different at different times? Different seasons?
Listen to the sounds within you. I can hear my breathing. I can hear my blood pulse. I hear a faraway cricket sound in my ears. I find these sounds very soothing. What can you hear?
3. Bath meditation
Run a very hot bath, filled up to the overflow. Let the water sit for at least half an hour to let the chlorine dissipate and steam up the bathroom. If you have a separate heater, hyper-heat the bathroom, also. Experiment with water temperature until you find what suits you. The hotter the better.
When it has cooled enough for you to get in, drop in 2-5 drops of an essential oil (these can be obtained at a health food store or from an aromatherapist). Stir to mix. I use eucalyptus when I feel stuffy from the smokers who live below me; lavender or jasmine when I just want to relax and meditate. Pam Novotny, a Jersey Shore aromatherapist, suggests also trying ylang ylang or juniper.
Get into the tub and sit down. Scoop up some water in your hands and apply to your face, neck, shoulders, and chest. Then lie back, knees bent or feet folded in, so your trunk is pretty well covered with water. If you feel chilly at all, cover your front with a wet washcloth or hand towel. If you wish, place a bath pillow or folded-up hand towel underneath your head and neck.
Close your eyes. Just be in the warmth and allow images to float through your mind. Let the images come to you, then let them go, and enjoy the warmth. Stay this way as long as you’re comfortable.
When finished, rinse off and towel dry with lots of rubbing to help the old skin come off.
Rest afterwards if you feel like it. On chilly days I often leave my bedroom window open while I’m in my homemade sauna, so that when I come back to my room I can imagine I’m a character in a Bergman film I saw once, romping in the snow after a hot steam bath.
If you don’t have a bathtub, perhaps you can try this at a friend’s house.
4. Sensual shower
Stand with your back to the running water. Lather up your hands with soap. Close your eyes. Slowly rub your hands over your entire body. You can start at the top and go down or start with your feet and go up. As you move your hands slowly over your body, focus on the sensations you feel. The idea is not to clean yourself, but to focus your mind on the messages your hands are getting. Feel the parts of you that are soft; feel the parts that are hard. Which parts are smooth? Hairy? Rough? Focus on what feels good to you. Try not to be judgmental about your body, just enjoy how it feels. When you’re finished, rinse yourself off and towel dry as above.
5. Place
This is a place I love to go, and I hope you can visualize it in even more detail than I describe here. After you read it, close your eyes and recreate my favorite place.
You’re driving down a country road, a quiet country road, and everywhere you look you see lush green — green in the tall wild grasses along side the road, green in the leaves of the trees that line the road. The branches of the large trees nearly touch overhead. You’re sitting really comfortably in your car and you’re enjoying the view, which reminds you of a long sensuous tunnel. The car seems suspended over the road, not touching the road at all. It seems light, not heavy, almost like floating.
You suddenly realize you can slow yourself down just with your thoughts. Just by thinking yourself going more slowly, you can go more slowly. There is no one on the road but you, so you go real slow, enjoying the feeling of comfort the tunnel of trees creates in you.
Because you can control how fast you go just with your thinking, you decide to speed up and allow the trees to rush past you. The trees rush by faster and faster. You just stay there for a while, with the trees rushing past, floating in your comfortable car.
Try changing speed now and slow yourself down, slow your comfortable car down. Just go slowly now, and look very carefully for deer down the road ahead of you. There’s one! You’re glad you’re going so slowly. As you float down the road and get closer to the deer, you smile at it and connect with its life force.
Stay close to the energy and allow it to come into you. Use the energy in any way you wish — for healing, for nourishment, for pleasure feelings.
Say thanks for the gift so freely given by other living things.
If there is a place you like to go to in your imagination, allow yourself to linger there often, imagining the details. Try to make it a peaceful place.
6. Odors
Wherever you are, close your eyes and try to identify any odors you can. Is there anything cooking? Is there perfume on someone passing by? Are there flowers? Dogs or cats? Can you smell yourself? By focusing on aroma, you become more aware of subtle differences. A dog and a mosquito can both tell the difference between a meat-eater and a vegetarian. Can you by the scent alone? I like to do this whenever I go to a mall or department store.
7. Rain meditation
Next time you find yourself caught in a rainstorm (this is particularly good if you’re close to home and don’t relish the thought of running through the rain to get inside), park your car in your driveway or parking place. Don’t jump out of the car; just sit there for a moment. Close your eyes.
Listen to the rain on the roof of your car. Listen for any wind. Is the rain coming down hard and fast? Or is it slow? Does it change speeds? I find that the ten or fifteen minutes I linger in the car listening to the storm pass by overhead and all around me helps me deal with my weariness at the end of a shopping trip or other drive in the car. As soon as the rain lets up you will feel refreshed and vitalized.
8. Third-eye meditations
Close your eyes. Focus on a spot in the middle of the inside of your forehead. Turn your head side to side, or at a light, or away from light, until you can see a dark spot that is shaped like an eye. This is called the third eye. Continue to focus on this eye and feel yourself relax. This focus can be used anywhere, anytime, for as long as you wish, for balance. Particularly useful when you begin to feel anxiety, aggravation, or frustration. Great when you’re put on hold, or you’re waiting in a supermarket line.
Close your eyes. Imagine a spot on the inside of your forehead, near the top where your forehead meets the top of your head. Focus on that spot. As your eyes are turned up, you will begin feeling yourself relax. Watch the spot turn into what appears to be a dark eye, just like one of your eyes when you look into a mirror. As you focus on this eye, place the tip of your tongue just behind your two front teeth. Remain like this for as long as you like. Doing this may make you shiver.
You can think of other ways to focus your attention on something besides your thoughts (which are what create havoc in our brains).
Try a hand massage, yoga (some simple stretches are on page 19), or just sitting quietly in a dimly lit room. As Peter McWilliams says, “Consider ease the antidote for dis-ease.” Meditation in its many forms is the ultimate in ease, and therefore an essential part of natural healing.
If I had nothing else to do, I’d spend all day and evening and into the next day in a meditative state — a dream state — or in that relaxed state where I feel float-y (rather than in normal consciousness where I act and react and talk and worry). If you become comfortable and adept at the preceding mind and consciousness “exercises,” you’ll know what I mean. Normally I float in and out of them at will. It’s one of the reasons I don’t fear death.
About the author:
The Truth According to Sally Miller: Collected Essays by Sally Miller
The 65 short essays in this unusual collection are as progressive and practical as they were when first published twenty years ago. Drawing from her experience as a sexual counselor and a natural healer, Sally Miller treats us to two separate collections. In “Health and Wellness” Ms. Miller reveals her struggle with depression and her healing from cancer surgery without conventional medical treatment, as well as giving us instruction on time and stress management. In “Sexuality & Relationships” she exposes herself in a way few women have (Betty Dodson and Carol Queen come to mind) while offering advice to us all. Topics include psychological & spiritual growth, natural healing, family, relationships, sexual problems & solutions, and special sexual interests. The common thread through both parts is Ms. Miller’s refreshing honesty and her idealism. As well as being a thirteen-year ovarian cancer survivor, Sally Miller is a trained sex therapist; she holds the unique position to see her worlds up close and personal, to reflect on herself as well as to entertain and enlighten her readers.
The Truth According to Sally Miller: Collected Essays is available for $25 postage-paid through SynergyBookService website.
Articles by Sally on a variety of topics have been published in The Affiliate, The Rocky Mountain Oyster, The Women’s Newspaper of Princeton, EIDOS, Touchpoint, The Jersey Shore Holistic Magazine, Street News, Clean Sheets, and others. For details on her new book, The Truth According to Sally Miller: Collected Essays, see below. For more information, see the Synergy Book Service Web site.
Photo Credit © Nicholas Sutcliffe | Dreamstime.com
