Noun 1. etiquette  – rules governing socially acceptable behavior

There are so many religions, cultures, and customs in the world today, it can be hard to keep track of what is deemed ‘appropriate’ behavior at any social function. Weddings in particular have their own set of rules. When you combine that with all of the different customs, cultures and religions – weddings all of a sudden become a complex event to plan!

Etiquette comes into play right away during the planning process from the invitations all the way to handling the gifts at the end of the day. For example, the phrasing of an invitation can be tricky to figure out; usually the first names to appear on an invitation should be those of the people paying for the wedding. The only abbreviations allowed on an invitation are Mr., Mrs., and Dr., Nicknames are not appropriate. All names, the date, and the time should be written out in full on the invitation.

Keeping track of the responses for your big day also requires some form of etiquette. For instance, you must keep track of your responses and their requirements for their meals properly, as it can appear disorganized the day of if it’s not recorded properly.

For the gifts – both monetary and non-monetary – ensure that there are proper receiving instructions to those ‘manning’ that station. For monetary gifts, you want to ensure that you have a proper, decorative container to hold the envelopes that your guests bring. Going to a wedding where your card is shoved and folded and creased into a small container never appears polite or appreciated. You want to ensure that their gifts, big and small are both appreciated to ensure a pleasurable experience for all.

What might be considered proper etiquette in one custom may not be the same in another. Traditionally, in a Chinese wedding the bride wears a red wedding dress as red is the colour of love and joy. If a bride were to wear a red wedding dress in a traditional Italian wedding, this would be deemed inappropriate or at least shocking to the groom’s Nona (grandmother). In  traditional Russian culture, the bride and groom throw their champagne glasses onto the floor after toasting. If the glasses break, the couple can expect happiness. Now if this were to happen at a quite English ceremony it would again seem inappropriate and disruptive.

As you can see, the traditions and customs of each culture and religion can vary the rules of etiquette. The best practice is to find out what it is suitable on both the brides/grooms side. Find how to reach a happy medium between the two if they are very different.

Remember it is your day. Make sure the two most important people are happy -the bride and groom!

Tags: customs, Etiquette, planning a wedding, tradition, wedding