It is that time of year dear friends. The time that some of us dread, some of us love, and some of us would rather not acknowledge. The office Christmas party. I have worked in many workplace environments; and each December a wave of excitement floods from desk to desk. Are you going? Who are you bringing? What are you wearing? These questions and more are what make events like these hard to navigate. Personally, I have had some of the best and worst times at the holiday hoo-rahs and have decided to share some wisdom learned along the way. Follow these guidelines to ensure you are the Belle of the Ball.

1-You are not going to a nightclub

The office holiday party and Friday night are two very different events. There is no need to pre-drink, do shots of Tequila or adorn yourself with glitter. I recall one office party that had a few show up carrying trays of Jell-O shooters and wearing skirts that barely covered their cash and prizes.  Sure, everybody is working for the weekend, however your stuffy receptionist or the nerd in accounting will not appreciate your actions, nor will you appreciate the embarrassment at the water cooler the next day.

2-Mind your date

This rule is two-fold. The first is to actually think about who you decide to bring to your festivities. The guy you have been seeing for two weeks? Hold off. This is not the time to be having the awkward introductions to your superiors. “This is Jeff, my, uh…” Get the picture? Nor is it suitable to bring your on again off again boyfriend of five years that you have been fighting with constantly. No domestics during dinner ladies. If you are in a loving relationship, enough so that you would feel completely secure leaving alone at your table whilst visiting the girls room, then by all means. Solo this season? If you want to bring a girlfriend make a mental note of rule number one and do not bring your loudest, craziest party friend. I actually made that mistake once and my now ex friend was barefoot by the time appetizers arrived, had broken the straps to her cleavage baring mini dress and was dancing the Cha Cha Slide alone by her seventh cocktail.

Mildly inappropriate.

In regards to the date you do bring, make sure that this person is prepared to assist you in small talk, nod politely when addressed and is happy to be there.  It is also a good idea to give your date a heads up in regards to the office environment, what attire to wear, and a general overview of what topics should and should not be encouraged. I once overheard a co-worker’s date ramble on about how many immigrants were landing in “his” country and how the laws should be changed. Enough said.

3- Dress for Success

Every workplace has a different view on what is appropriate for their holiday soirée. Some places are uber casual; others would prefer a more formal look. Depending on your industry, you will have an idea of what look would be most flattering.  I have worked in the hospitality industry for many years, and it was common to wear smart casual attire. I have also worked in more of a formal industry whereby the party included suits and longer dresses.  If you are short on funds this year perhaps set aside some cash for a new clutch, pair of earrings or shoes. Adding a touch of something new jazzes up an older outfit.  Remember that you should wear your outfit, not have your outfit wear you.

4-Booze, Boys and Breasts

When it comes to alcoholic beverages, of course you are entitled to enjoy a few. However, if you have already polished off the table wine, and are now on to dirty martinis, it is best to walk away slowly from the bar. Remember that you may be at a party, but do you really want to be the Lampshade on the Head Girl? If you are slurring your words, stumbling about, and telling everyone how much you love them, you should immediately grab your coat and call a taxi. Leaving early from the holiday event with any remains of dignity will be more respected than being the bottle rat. Your boss is watching, and so is everyone else.

Men, boys, and That Guy two cubicles over will all be there. However, the office Christmas party is not the time to work on your game. Of course you can rub shoulders and mingle, but refrain from blazingly obvious pickup tactics. It is neither the time nor the place to exude your inner minx. You do not know who is single, gay, married, and quite frankly it is not the best atmosphere to find out. Show up looking stunning and have fun; if he is interested you will know.

In regards to your choice on attire, it would be wise to think about how much cleavage you want to show. When picking your fabulous outfit, keep in mind that if you need double -sided tape to keep from exposing yourself, put it back in the closet. If your outfit is so sheer that everyone will know the type of bra you are wearing, think twice. Lastly, if any gust of wind will cause your nipples to cut glass, make sure you are supported and covered. Believe me, there is nothing wrong with showing a glimpse, however make sure that when talking to your higher-ups, that their eyesight is higher up.

Remember, these events were designed to culminate a long hard year of work, which you and your teammates provided for your company. The office party should be something to look forward to, and enjoy. Keep these guidelines in mind, and remember to be safe, have a designated driver and have fun!

Photo Credit © Ingret | Dreamstime.com

Stephanie Churma is a freelance writer with a focus on personal development, sex and relationships and all things fabulous.  If she is ever reported missing check your local bookstore, coffee house, or in the arms of current muse. Contact her at stephaniechurma@hotmail.com