You can change the way you think. Thoughts create pathways in your brain and the more you have a particular thought, the more defined the path.  When going on a hike, you start at the trail, right?  Thoughts can be like this and follow the same trails in your mind.  Some thoughts are positive, give us pleasure, make us happy.  Other thoughts are negative, destructive or make us feel depressed.  Ok, now hold that thought for a minute.

I’ve been reading brain books lately – great parenting books by Dr. Becky Bailey.  Her parenting and teaching tips relate to how children’s brains develop and how we can help kids learn conscious discipline; that is, learn impulse control, manage behavior, getting needs fulfilled – without spanking and temper tantrums.  The fundamentals are safety, food, shelter – things that are controlled by our brain stem – you know where we keep “fight or flight.” However, with training and discipline, we can help kids learn to think and make positive decisions for themselves and others by developing their frontal cortex.  If your a parent or a teacher, get her books – www.consciousdiscipline.com

The second brain book is by a – get this – brain anatomist.  My Stroke of Insight by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor (www.mystrokeofinsight.com ) – is a fascinating book about a scientist that had a stroke and then wrote about her stroke and rehabilitation experience.  Some people like the sections where she describes a stroke; if nothing else, you will learn to identify the symptoms which may save your life or someone else’s life.  Other readers like the section when she describe her rehabilitation.  I tuned into the section describing how she consciously chose the change some her thinking after her stroke versus before her stroke.

Remember I asked you to hold that thought, now it’s time to remember again.  First, let’s remind ourselves that the mind’s job is to generate thoughts.  So, it does all day and all night while you dream.  Some thoughts you can simply accept or acknowledge and ignore, but other thoughts are connected, like strands of spaghetti to still more thoughts that are associated with feelings some of which are good and some not to good.  But what if you you had a negative thought and instead of letting it go the normal path, you intentionally sent the thought down a different pathway?  You didn’t pass judgment, no criticism, you simply accepted the thought and redirected it toward a new pathway and new ending – one that’s either more to your liking or closer to what you aspire.  No, this is not “positive self talk” per se, but a real exercise in choosing to think differently, choosing to develop responses with which you’re more comfortable.

OK, now let me pull these brain comments together…do you ever say things that sound exactly like your mom or dad and you’re shocked?  They’re not really your thoughts, but you saw a specific action or behavior and heard their responses dozens of times, so it was easy for your brain to recall it when you needed it.  Right?   Consider developing a different response; pause and acknowledge your comments, “pivot” to a newer thought that is more genuinely from you and tell your friends or kids what you really mean and then keep practicing.

For those of you who know me, you know that I’m an optimist, but I will tell you that my outlook is far more positive now than it was 20 years ago because I have been actively changing and adjusting my neuropathways to become the person I aspired to be – and I’m still a work in process.  Good luck with your brain trails.

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Tags: brain, thoughts