I believe a true and trusted Girlfriend is something you learn and earn over time. Let me restate that. You learn and earn Girlfriend status. I don’t believe it’s something you are born knowing. Remember those mean girls in high school? Yes, some of them may still be mean, but I’ll bet at your last reunion, most of them had learned to respect their friends and are better, kinder people because of it. I know as I get wiser, using the word “older” involves Botox, I learn to be a better mom, wife, worker, and Girlfriend, many times because of the influence of my Girlfriends. That’s why a good Girlfriend can make all the difference. On the other hand, a bad girlfriend (notice no capitalization) can be a cancer that can or will at least try to destroy you. This is the perfect time to tell you that not all girlfriends are created equal. Choose wisely.

Maybe because I’ve been blessed with really great Girlfriends, I used to be under the false impression that anyone can be one. Wrong! That naive thinking has burned me more than once. This article is not about revenge, well, maybe a little; instead, it’s about the importance of keeping your good Girlfriends close and dumping those who don’t have your best interests at heart. Oh, I should mention, I’m changing the names to protect the guilty.

My biggest example: Sabotage Suzie

I will never understand someone who actually befriends you and then turns on you. That’s the lowest. I always imagine Suzie Sabotage saying “Oh I’m sorry.. did my knife land in your back?” Uh, yeah. It landed right where you were aiming, Little Missie!

My Suzie Sabotage was a gal I worked with for years at my TV station where I was a nightly news anchor and investigative reporter for 12 years. I remember girls at work warning me that Suzie was out for herself, but I didn’t listen. I also noticed she didn’t have any other real Girlfriends, that is one of the biggest red flags! Regardless, I went out of my way to hold her hand through some really rough times and did nothing but support her. However, in a last ditch effort to keep her job, she had some closed-door meetings with the bosses claiming I didn’t work as hard as she, she was a better journalist, and she even insinuated that I was having an affair with a co-worker,. Oh, no, she didn’t! When the bosses told me she’d said that, I couldn’t distance myself fast enough from Suzie, but I was honestly devastated. How could she say something like that when we were friends, and she knew it wasn’t true? That’s when I realized you can’t teach or change a Sabotage Suzie. These girls have no friends because they have no clue how to be one themselves. If you get even the slightest hint you might have a Suzie in your life, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She just can’t help herself, and she will eventually sabotage you in one way or another.

But these WannaBes come with all sorts of names and issues. See if any of these chicks sound familiar:

Helen Hater

Just Don’t

Get It Gidget

Needy Nancy

Gayle Guilt

Competitive Cathy

Tit-for-Tat Tammy

Abigail Agenda

Debbie Downer

Nanette Know-It-All

Deedee Drama

Told-You-So Tina

Wear Out Wanda

Gloria Gossip

Lying Linda

You know exactly who I’m talking about, Sista! No matter what their names, you need to dump them, and dump them fast. Now, that does not mean you have to be rude or verbally analyze their “issues” as you back peddle out of the relationship. That’s just petty, silly and something Told-You-So Tina would do. Instead, just gracefully “quit” the friendship. It’s okay to simply dump someone who threatens to suck you dry. Remember, these women are emotional vampires who don’t want you to succeed whether consciously or subconsciously. And once you have physically and mentally said “Buh-bye,” please make sure you don’t invite in another Wanna-Be to take her place. I can guarantee you, while I have experienced each and every one of these so-called “girlfriends” in the past, I can promise you that not a one of them is in my life today.

At this stage of my life and in this economy, I definitely need Girlfriends who make me a better person. So you see, we really do get wiser with age. In my 20’s, I thought I needed to have a lot of friends to be valuable. In my 30’s, I thought I had to stick by my friends no matter what antics they played. In my 40’s? If I get even the hint that you don’t have other really good Girlfriends, you might stab me or you’re a hater? Forget it. I don’t have the time or energy for you in my 2.0 Girlfriend network! I think that as women we often think we “have” to be friends with certain people or that we can “help change” a lost soul. Don’t give in to the should, woulda, coulda syndrome. Instead take control of your life and only allow those Girlfriends into your life who will be there through thick and thin. It’s a new day, Girlfriend! Quality not quantity counts. So, unite and surround yourself with only true Girlfriends (with a capitol G) and dump the wannabes. You’re life will be richer because of it.

Emmy award winning TV Broadcaster Cindy W Morrison successfully reinvented herself after the economy lead to corporate downsizing. Leaving a 20 year news career behind, Cindy wrote a book, hit the speaking circuit and created her own consulting business. She now teaches people how to reboot, upgrade and reinvent through networking, social media and branding so they can make more money and live a better life.

Photo Credit© Klaus23|Dreamstime.com

Tags: girlfriends, wanna-bes