Get Married this Year: 365 Days to “I Do”

The Proven Program Trusted by Thousands of Happy Couples — Now in Print!

Forget waiting for Mr. Right! You can go out and find “The One” yourself when you follow the Get Married This Year plan. Celebrated relationship expert Dr. Janet Blair Page has distilled the very best of her acclaimed dating class at Emory University — the one covered by CNN, FOX, Good Morning America, and The Early Show – into this one-of-a-kind book. She’s helped bring thousands of singles true love — and now it’s your turn!

Your To-Do List This Year:
Today: Get to know yourself.
Next Month: Figure out what you really want from your man.
Month 3: Learn how to get out of your own way.
Month 6: Take the field and find the right guy.
Month 10: Make the big decision.
Month 12: Get Married!

The Power is yours — and with Dr. Page’s guidance, you’ll use that power to meet and marry your Perfect Guy. From designing the ultimate Spouse Shopping List to getting the right guy to commit, this tried-and-true method gives you the blueprint you need to take charge of your love life and find love that can last a lifetime — in only 12 months or less!

Tell us a little more about yourself and your background.

My writing is based on my knowledge of the thousands of students and clients that I’ve known in the last 22 years of teaching and 30 years of private practice in NYC and Atlanta and my own experiences thrown in as well. Having been both widowed and divorced, I’ve re-married and re-married, and stayed mostly very active when I was single with a few deserts in there as well. I believe I’ve heard or lived about every possible variation on the subject of finding a dream mate. I can be terrible at following my own advice and know I’ve broken every rule so am well aware that not following the action plan I’ve proscribed leads to a dead end or worse. But it seems only fair that I am my own guinea pig. It does work.It is tough out there but it can be fun too particularly if you feel you are winning. With this book, I had the opportunity to reach and help far more singles than has been possible through my practice, teaching, and speaking and have been thrilled with it’s reception.

What inspired you to write a book on getting married? Has any of your personal experiences affect you writing your book?

In 1984, I started teaching a course at Emory University in Atlanta called “Before a Year Is Over, I’ll Be Married,” which was a hit from the beginning. The way people meet and date has changed drastically over the last three decades, but the problems haven’t changed at all: single men and women feel like they’re not meeting enough eligible people, or if they are, they keep facing the same relationship love blocks over and over again. As psychotherapist — divorced, widowed, and remarried myself — I was able to empathize. I have personally been on the same path and have my own backlog of bloopers but I’ve also experienced the joys of a good marriage, and it’s the most wonderful way I can think to spend a life. This book offers the experience I have gathered. I wrote it in hopes that more singles can learn from the mistakes my clients, students, and I have made before they make their own and will be able to use it to find a happy, healthy, and lasting relationship with the mate of their dreams.

Tell us more about your dating class at Emory University.

I’ve seen three big changes in the class as the years have gone by. My student population diversified, with larger numbers of gay and lesbian participants, minorities, and newly single students in their fifties and sixties. I find this tremendously rewarding because the principles in my program can definitely be used in gay relationships and you are never too old for love. Also, the men in the class have become more and more open and vocal about their own difficulties in finding a mate. From listening to my male students and clients, I’ve gained a 30-year insider’s view of what men really feel about women, what they like and hate about dating, and what they need from and are willing to put into commitment. By now, I might have more mental locker room time than most men on the street. I’ve concluded that women tend to box men into fear-based stereotypes instead of going for the truth. I tried to help women understand those stereotypes and let them in on what men are really thinking. I tried to re-direct everyone’s thinking toward “hope is not a strategy”, “a date is not a confession booth”, “de-cluttering a love life by getting rid of deadwood is essential”, “flirting is mandatory”, and “whatever bait you used to catch your mate has to be kept on that hook forever”.

What is your number one piece of advice to give to people seeking “The One”?

The first step is self-assessment, recognizing negative traits — over-analyzing, self-pity, resentment — these attitudes and behaviors make it harder to live with one’s self and can scare off potential partners. A quick return to positivism may be a single’s most important asset. Trading in negativity for positivity is huge and has to happen for someone to believe in themselves as attractive and desirable. The reasoning behind this is simple. Confidence is sexy and if you don’t know who you are, you will have trouble selling yourself as a product. You’ll lack credibility and seem untrustworthy. Lack of confidence also causes an underestimation of your own market value. Attitude and effort are more important than natural good looks because feeling powerful is feeling attractive. And people who feel attractive attract.

Another pressing reason for positive self-regard is that many times people choose someone whose self-esteem matches their own. So if their self-worth isn’t very high, they choose a partner with low self-worth and most people don’t want to marry into a group therapy unit. Another danger is that with low self-worth matches is that they are possible mates now but won’t fit if either one of them gains self-esteem or self-worth in the future!

Have you gotten letters from readers who have found Mr. Perfect because of your book? If so, please share a couple love stories.

One of my alumni, Steve, a 37-year-old children’s book author, looked like central casting’s idea of a bad date. He was 6’4″ and so skinny it looked like a high wind could blow him away. He wore a rumpled shirt, garish tie, old jeans and a windbreaker, and exuded the rather frightening notion that he would actually go out on a date dressed that way. Not high market appeal ad he was shy but “good guy” was written all over him. Steve came to class courtesy of his mother who had given him a care package containing my class, as well as enrollment in a dating service, and a gift certificate for a nice department store (specifying that it was only good in the men’s department, not the electronics section). On top of the gift box in large letters, his mother had written, “I WANT GRANDCHILDREN!” Subtle woman, but she got him there.

By the end of the last class Steve had transformed his look and the way he presented himself. He had committed himself to being truly open to meeting new women. Afterwards three women encircled him to talk but a forth cut through and asked him to go have a cup of coffee then and there and now they’re married.

Another alumna, Linda, a lovely 54-year-old widow with a beautiful smile, came to class because her son had put a registration slip in the toe of her Christmas stocking with a note that said, “Now you can take care of this before Valentine’s Day. Dad would have wanted you to give some other lucky guy a chance.” She was still grieving but also afraid to start over. Not having had a date in 30 years, she felt very shaky about her ability to compete or face rejection. Linda worked with me individually to finish the major part of her anger and pain about losing the man who was her life’s center and to re-gain a concept of herself as an individual.

Now married to a widower who blends beautifully with her large family and keeps an even bigger smile on her face, she told me the class was one of the best gifts she’s ever received. I couldn’t ask for a better endorsement!

Anything else you would like to say to your future readers?

Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy. Singles sabotage themselves without even knowing it. Humans have an amazing capacity for creative avoidance. I’ve seenamoro-phobics and commitment-phobics dig some really deep holes for themselves using everything from an obnoxious demeanor to homeless person couture for first dates. Then they doubt their ability to find, create and maintain loving relationships and it’s because they’ve been getting in their own way! The most common reason for not getting what you say that you want is simple ambivalence. Many claim they want a lifelong mate but are giving a perfect impersonation of someone actively working hard to stay single. It’s important to determine if you truly want a dream mate or a dead end before you start “trying”.

Janet Blair Page, PhD, author of Get Married This Year: 365 Days to “I Do”, is a psychotherapist with more than thirty years of experience in private practice in New York and Atlanta. She teaches at Emory University and has been in the New York Times, Glamour and on CNN, FOX, Good Morning America, and The Early Show. She lives in Atlanta, Georgia.
For more information please visit http://drjanetpage.com/