We’ve all heard variations of the quote, “Behind every successful man is a woman”. Let’s take that quote, flip it, and talk about the men behind the successful women.

Here in Oklahoma, we fondly call the husband of Mrs. Oklahoma, “Mr. Oklahoma”. Because the Mrs. International system is very family centered, we love our Mr. Oklahomas and the part they play in the year of each Mrs. Oklahoma.

He’s usually the strong silent type and while we hear a lot from Mrs. Oklahoma through the year, we never hear much from Mr. Oklahoma. So what does he think? What’s it like to be the man behind Mrs. Oklahoma?

Mr. Oklahoma 2007, Teddy Good, with his wife, Brooke

Mr. Oklahoma 2007, Teddy Good, encouraged his wife, Brooke, to compete for the title. “We had just had our two boys back to back,” said Good “and she was spending her days revolving herself around us so much that I felt she needed to find herself again aside from being a great wife and mother.”

Good said he learned many things about Brooke through the process all of which made him realize just how amazing she is.  ”The thing that really sticks out to me is not a new found trait,” he said “but something that I couldn’t get over every time I saw her put on the crown and that is how humble she is.”

“Never once did she put on the crown and think she was better than anyone or deserved the crown above anyone else. Even when she spoke to the kids at the girls home, she removed her crown and told them ‘I am just like you. If I can do this, then you can be anything you want to be.’ That is something that humbles me still today,” he said.

Mr. Oklahoma 2009, Clint Roberts, crowns his wife, Rachel.

All of the contestants in the Mrs. Oklahoma International pageant are escorted by their husbands in the evening gown competition. Clint Roberts, Mr. Oklahoma 2009, was a little nervous about escorting his wife, Rachel, on stage. “But I was proud that she had this goal and was doing her best to achieve it.”

Roberts was impressed by Rachel’s ability to speak to groups, something that Mrs. Oklahoma does quite a bit. “I don’t know if it changed,” he said “but it was the first time I noticed how good she is at speaking in public.”

After she is crowned Mrs. Oklahoma, the new queen heads to Chicago to compete for the title of Mrs. International. Just like he was at the state pageant, Mr. Oklahoma is there with his wife to escort her on the stage in the evening gown competition.

Mr. Oklahoma, Tony Ducato, and his wife, Heidi

The experience in Chicago is exciting for everyone. The best part of the Chicago trip, according to Mr. Oklahoma 2010 Tony Ducato, is feeling the unbelievable amount of support from family as well as perfect strangers. “There was so much love and excitement that weekend,” he says.  ”Nicholas, our 6 year old, was the perfect barometer.  It was so awesome to watch how proud he was to see Heidi during the pageant.  He cheered and was ecstatic to see her on stage and so crushed for her when she didn’t win.”

Ducato adds that it’s rare for any adult to have an opportunity to compete on stage and that it was so incredible to see his wife on the stage doing such an awesome job.  ”We were all so proud of her!”

With the family focus of the pageant, Mr. Oklahoma is encouraged to accompany his wife on her appearances.  ”My favorite part of being Mr. Oklahoma was getting to go with Brooke to all of her appearances,” said Good. “I got to stand back and watch as people were starting to see my wife as the beautiful woman I already knew she was inside and out. We were able to do so many events together that I feel it even brought us closer in our marriage.” Good says that trying to decide what the best part of being Mr. Oklahoma was is hard because they are still receiving opportunities that wouldn’t have been possible if Brooke hadn’t been Mrs. Oklahoma.

Hands down, seeing Mrs. Oklahoma in “The Zone” is Ducato’s favorite part of being Mr. Oklahoma. “The crown and sash are on, she’s absolutely gorgeous, but somehow she is still the incredible down to earth woman that I fell in love with,” he says. “Whether she is on stage, speaking in public or working a crowd she’s flawless.  Her feet might hurt, she may not feel well and probably hasn’t eaten all day, but she is still smiling infectiously and speaking from the heart.  She takes time to speak with everyone and answers every question with enthusiasm.  She really makes me feel so fortunate to be Mr. Oklahoma.”

Mrs. Oklahoma’s year is full of appearances, the National pageant, and working on her platform. After the breakneck pace of the year, it’s over all too soon. For men whose wives are considering entering the Mrs. Oklahoma International pageant, our Mr. Oklahomas have some words of wisdom that all share a common theme.

Good advises to have patience and understanding. “Be willing to hold her gown for her and open the door as she rushes to each appearance. Always be supportive and keep a smile on your face and tell her you are proud of her. And last, but certainly not least, make sure she knows that no matter what the outcome of the pageant is, that at the end of it all, SHE is still your QUEEN!”

Roberts also recommends being supportive. “You may think the pageant thing is different but it is something she is excited about and working hard for. No matter how you feel about it, support her. You should be very proud of everything your wife is doing for others. It is a wonderful thing to see.”

Finally, Ducato suggests saying “yes”. “It will not always be easy,” he says, “but the best thing to do is to support her throughout the entire experience.  Help her make the most of it by being there and saying yes.  Don’t let her worry about your feelings; instead enable her to be her very best by supporting her unconditionally!”

Loving, encouraging and proud describe the men who have held the title of Mr. Oklahoma. Men we are blessed to call family.

Lauri Rottmayer is the Executive Director of the Mrs. Oklahoma International Pageant.  Beginning 23 years ago, Mrs. International was developed to have higher standards than other pageant systems. The very first woman to wear the Mrs. International crown, was Rhonda Berglan of Oklahoma.  The focus behind Mrs. Oklahoma International is to showcase women 21 to 56 years old, married at least six months and a resident of the state. Each contestant competes in Interview Competition, which is valued for 50% of her overall score, Evening Gown, valued for 25% and Fitness Wear for 25%. Each contestant has the opportunity to select a community service platform of her choice that she spends the year promoting. Husbands are a direct part of the show, escorting their wives in the Evening Gown competition, and the husband crowns his wife titleholder. You can learn more by visiting the Mrs. Oklahoma International and  Mrs. International Pageant webites.

I’m not a fan of grocery shopping and I usually put it off as long as I can. I just got back from a three week vacation and I’ve been sort of scraping the bottom of my food supply barrel in the house, trying to put off the inevitable grocery shopping trip. I didn’t think there was anything for breakfast this morning. But I was wrong. Perusing my recipes, I found this one for Irish Coffee Muffins and I had all of the ingredients. An easy recipe and 20 minutes baking time later, I was indulging in a tasty, boozy warm muffin.

First you’ll want to preheat your oven to 400 degrees F and melt a stick of butter. Place muffin papers in your muffin pan.

Mix the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt together in a bowl.

Add the melted butter, beaten egg, cream, whiskey and coffee liqueur.

Stir until just moistened.

Fill the muffin cups and bake for 20 minutes in the preheated oven.

Enjoy these tasty, boozy little muffins. The taste and cakelike texture is Mmmmm FABU!

Irish Coffee Muffins

INGREDIENTS:

1 egg, beaten
2 cups of flour
½ cup of sugar
½ cup of melted butter
½ cup of heavy cream, unwhipped
¼ cup of coffee liqueur
¼ cup of Irish whiskey
1 tablespoon of baking powder
½ teaspoon of salt

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat your oven to 400°F (205°C).
Sift together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar.
Stir in the remaining ingredients, until moistened.
Fill paper-lined muffin tins full.
Bake for 20 minutes.

Lauri Rottmayer is the author of the FABU Highway. When she’s not traveling the Highway, Lauri directs The Mrs. Oklahoma International Pageant, a competition for married Oklahoma women from ages 21-56.

You can visit Lauri’s websites at www.FABUHighway.comand www.TheMrsOklahomaPageant.com.