Chic Galleria » Stephanie Churma

How To Tell If He Is Over It

Stephanie Churma — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 07:25:40 +0000

My friend and her boyfriend have been together for about four months, exclusive for two. This is the first trimester of new boy times and is usually the sweetest. Over lunch last week she confessed that things had become different. Her man who once seemed long-term worthy was now a bit of a downer. He was depressed, moody and slowly became absent. About six weeks later they broke up. She was relieved to finally not have to deal with walking on eggshells anymore, and in all actuality wasn’t surprised. She read the warnings crystal clear, and ladies it is time to start doing so as well! Instead of staying in a bad relationship for too long, you can know the warning signs to pack your fancy bag and bounce.

How do you know your relationship has hit critical mass?

There is a time period right before a breakup that, if recognized could tell you bluntly that time’s up- and to start moving in a different direction.

If you have recently become single think back from now until about 2 ½ months ago. I will tell you the storm was brewing. I’ll bet he stopped seeing you as frequently. Used to hang out four nights a week and it’s been almost two weeks? Proximity to those who we are attracted to is so glaringly obvious. We are around the people we love and care about; we actually need to be with them. When you have less of a connection-even with certain friends-you do not physically surround yourself with them as much. If he was always by your side and now you’re making other plans, it may be time to talk.

Mr. Sarcastic turned into Mr. Snide? Those couples who pick fights with each other are literally time stamping their relationship. The reason being is the fact that the pseudo “play fights” are that they cover up a deeper annoyance. It just acts as a buffer to avoid a real deep argument. Picking fights is passive aggressive behaviour that hinders all communication- the glue, if you will. When I see couples do this it really just signifies to me that they can’t even ‘talk about it’ which doesn’t really bode well with the strength of their union.

Excuses, excuses. He can’t see you because he is at his sisters. His friend needs a lift. He is sick. He’s doing a buddy a favour. He has to work late. Whatever the case may be, everything under the sun is important to him-except you. Solid couples don’t use life as a means of avoiding each other. They are committed to the relationship and work their lives around it. Anyone who prefers tending to random situations as opposed to seeing you is not a good partner. Period.

The bottom line is that the key thing to look for when it comes to how healthy your relationship is to notice if the guy is around. He calls, he makes time for you, and he doesn’t have “better things to do.” If you are made to be a priority in this person’s life you will know it because they are excited to be beside you-in every way. If he is distant, cold and something just feels off, you may be in for some changes. Granted, serious issues such as clinical depression and stress will alter your man’s personality, however the telltale sign is if he comes to you gungho to work through it-together. Operative word being together. The push/ pull game died after college. You deserve to be with someone who wants your time. Talk to him. He may be relieved. You may be to.

Photo Credit © Vgstudio | Dreamstime.com

Stephanie Churma is a freelance writer with a focus on Sex and Relationships, Lifestyle and Personal Development. She lives in Toronto and can be contacted at stephaniechurma@hotmail.com

The Single Girl Freak-out

Stephanie Churma — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 07:18:19 +0000

There comes a time once a year, that makes many cringe. Some will come down with pseudo serious nausea, irrational thinking, unintentional bon bon eating, and lest we forget the waterworks. This time of year can be detrimental to our psyche, and without proper care we could end up spending an entire 24 hours utterly miserable.

Ten points and one golden star to the lucky reader to guess what day I am referring to.

Raise your hand if Valentine’s Day is not your idea of a good time. I would like to say that for those readers who are in happy, loving relationships to take this article in jest. However, there are “resident singletons” (thank you Bridget Jones) that truly dread this day.

Why is that?

I can say with near certainty that we as a society believe this day to be purely Hallmark. I am sure that many will denounce that with a mythical Cupid story- but let’s call a spade a spade. This cinnamon heart, red balloon day is meant to sell greeting cards.

What makes this day such a disaster is the concept that if you are not on the receiving end of said greeting cards, you essentially have a whole day to wallow about how lonely you are. If you do not have dinner plans at seven, or a hotel room booked, there is something wrong with you. Naturally, we would love to call our girlfriends and guffaw about how lavish our entire day will be. Cue dream sequence:

“Timothy is taking me to a luxe martini bar for oysters and chocolate covered strawberries.”

“Oh, well Michael is surprising me with a penthouse suite for the night where he will spend hours reading poems he wrote about me.”

“Well, I saw a little velvet box in John’s coat the other day, along with two tickets to Bali; no big deal.”

Naturally.

I surveyed my best friends, and the married one said she and her hubby don’t devout a specific day to honour their love. They make a point to be loving and kind every day. With a two year old and twins on the way (at 27!) this is not a shocker. The engaged one said that she and her fiancé are strapped after putting down-payments for their wedding; V-day will likely be wine and a home cooked meal. The one in the relationship isn’t really thinking about it, and the single ladies are going out with each other.

I think the problem is that there are so many people with so many expectations, that the pressure is all consuming. However, at the end of the day many take it easy on February 14^th.

Remember that nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. You are not a holiday. Single? Go out with your friends. Stay in and listen to music. Take yourself on a date. My girlfriend is going by herself to a concert. Talk about self worth! Lastly, you will hear at the office, on the subway and in papers grandioso stories about the “Timothys and Michaels and Johns” of the world and their lavish overindulgent splurges for their women. Try not to look as if you just sucked a lemon whilst listening to the stories. Your turn is coming up, I promise.

Take Valentines’ Day for what it’s worth- marathon chick flicks, a girl’s night out and way too much chocolate.

Photo Credit © Tracy Whiteside | Dreamstime.com

Stephanie Churma is a freelance writer living in Toronto with a focus on Sex and Relationships, Lifestyle, Fashion, and Personal Development. Her Valentine’s Day will consist of snagging the comfy chair at Starbucks and canoodling with a latte. She can be contacted at stephaniechurma@hotmail.com

I Choo Choo Choose These!

Stephanie Churma — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 21:53:35 +0000

Attention all resident fashionistas! I was just made aware of the newest concept for Jimmy Choo’s Spring Summer 2010 collection, aptly titled CHOO 24:7. Founder and President Tamara Mellon wanted this season’s footwear to still embody the chic and iconic look that this brand has cultivated; yet with a few new sleek designs. She has created ten investment pieces that will fit in anyone’s closet.

The inspiration for CHOO 24:7 came from Tamara herself. She wanted staple pieces that would work with her own wardrobe that would stand the test of time, remain fashionable, wearable and reliable. In doing so, however, she wanted to keep the classic look of a Jimmy Choo shoe, with a 2010 feel.

What makes this collection fly is the day to night options for any gal on the go. This collection was designed to take a woman from day to night, looking stylish and modern. CHOO 24:7 created cute flats to run errands in, as well as sexy, bold heels for cocktails Saturday night.

The collection has styles for every woman. Sophisticates will gravitate towards such designs as “Lockett”- a patent black leather classic pump. Further, “Private” is another patent leather pump, this time in a soft nude with a peep toe sole. Attention brazen bombshells! “Lewis” is a leopard print pump that will add life to any outfit. Sirens will adore the sky-high platform pump “Clue” which swayed Heidi Klum down the Golden Globe runway. (Kate Hudson is a fan too!)

Scared of heights? Don’t fret darlings, as there are many heel sizes to choose from. Glitter flats such as “Finlay” will keep you looking stunning. Live for the extra inches? “Lance” is a bronze strappy sandal that will keep all eyes on you.

While these pieces may not be for the budge conscious, it is important as females to take care of ourselves. A stunning heel that will last, and be continuously stylish is never cheap. However, it is absolutely worth the price- these will neither fall apart nor fall out of style. Happy shopping!

The entire collection is available to view or purchase at www.jimmychoo.com

Photo’s c/o www.jimmychoo.com

Stephanie Churma is freelance writer living in Toronto with a focus on Fashion, Sex and Relationships, Lifestyle and Personal Development. She can be contacted at stephaniechurma@hotmail.com

The Modern Gal’s Guide to Surviving the Office Christmas Party

Stephanie Churma — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 20:04:42 +0000

It is that time of year dear friends. The time that some of us dread, some of us love, and some of us would rather not acknowledge. The office Christmas party. I have worked in many workplace environments; and each December a wave of excitement floods from desk to desk. Are you going? Who are you bringing? What are you wearing? These questions and more are what make events like these hard to navigate. Personally, I have had some of the best and worst times at the holiday hoo-rahs and have decided to share some wisdom learned along the way. Follow these guidelines to ensure you are the Belle of the Ball.

1-You are not going to a nightclub

The office holiday party and Friday night are two very different events. There is no need to pre-drink, do shots of Tequila or adorn yourself with glitter. I recall one office party that had a few show up carrying trays of Jell-O shooters and wearing skirts that barely covered their cash and prizes. Sure, everybody is working for the weekend, however your stuffy receptionist or the nerd in accounting will not appreciate your actions, nor will you appreciate the embarrassment at the water cooler the next day.

2-Mind your date

This rule is two-fold. The first is to actually think about who you decide to bring to your festivities. The guy you have been seeing for two weeks? Hold off. This is not the time to be having the awkward introductions to your superiors. “This is Jeff, my, uh…” Get the picture? Nor is it suitable to bring your on again off again boyfriend of five years that you have been fighting with constantly. No domestics during dinner ladies. If you are in a loving relationship, enough so that you would feel completely secure leaving alone at your table whilst visiting the girls room, then by all means. Solo this season? If you want to bring a girlfriend make a mental note of rule number one and do not bring your loudest, craziest party friend. I actually made that mistake once and my now ex friend was barefoot by the time appetizers arrived, had broken the straps to her cleavage baring mini dress and was dancing the Cha Cha Slide alone by her seventh cocktail.

Mildly inappropriate.

In regards to the date you do bring, make sure that this person is prepared to assist you in small talk, nod politely when addressed and is happy to be there. It is also a good idea to give your date a heads up in regards to the office environment, what attire to wear, and a general overview of what topics should and should not be encouraged. I once overheard a co-worker’s date ramble on about how many immigrants were landing in “his” country and how the laws should be changed. Enough said.

3- Dress for Success

Every workplace has a different view on what is appropriate for their holiday soirée. Some places are uber casual; others would prefer a more formal look. Depending on your industry, you will have an idea of what look would be most flattering. I have worked in the hospitality industry for many years, and it was common to wear smart casual attire. I have also worked in more of a formal industry whereby the party included suits and longer dresses. If you are short on funds this year perhaps set aside some cash for a new clutch, pair of earrings or shoes. Adding a touch of something new jazzes up an older outfit. Remember that you should wear your outfit, not have your outfit wear you.

4-Booze, Boys and Breasts

When it comes to alcoholic beverages, of course you are entitled to enjoy a few. However, if you have already polished off the table wine, and are now on to dirty martinis, it is best to walk away slowly from the bar. Remember that you may be at a party, but do you really want to be the Lampshade on the Head Girl? If you are slurring your words, stumbling about, and telling everyone how much you love them, you should immediately grab your coat and call a taxi. Leaving early from the holiday event with any remains of dignity will be more respected than being the bottle rat. Your boss is watching, and so is everyone else.

Men, boys, and That Guy two cubicles over will all be there. However, the office Christmas party is not the time to work on your game. Of course you can rub shoulders and mingle, but refrain from blazingly obvious pickup tactics. It is neither the time nor the place to exude your inner minx. You do not know who is single, gay, married, and quite frankly it is not the best atmosphere to find out. Show up looking stunning and have fun; if he is interested you will know.

In regards to your choice on attire, it would be wise to think about how much cleavage you want to show. When picking your fabulous outfit, keep in mind that if you need double -sided tape to keep from exposing yourself, put it back in the closet. If your outfit is so sheer that everyone will know the type of bra you are wearing, think twice. Lastly, if any gust of wind will cause your nipples to cut glass, make sure you are supported and covered. Believe me, there is nothing wrong with showing a glimpse, however make sure that when talking to your higher-ups, that their eyesight is higher up.

Remember, these events were designed to culminate a long hard year of work, which you and your teammates provided for your company. The office party should be something to look forward to, and enjoy. Keep these guidelines in mind, and remember to be safe, have a designated driver and have fun!

Stephanie Churma is a freelance writer with a focus on personal development, sex and relationships and all things fabulous. If she is ever reported missing check your local bookstore, coffee house, or in the arms of current muse. Contact her at stephaniechurma@hotmail.com

LG Fashion Week Part 3: Lizares

Stephanie Churma — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:57:01 +0000

As Christie and I ventured through the glamorous week of clothes and accessories, we stumbled upon a relatively new design house, Lizares. Both Christie and I had not seen their runway show before, but were excited to see what this Men’s Ready to Wear collection would entail. Sudbury born designer Brian Maristela is known for the re-invention of the bold male. Typically, men’s collections are business focused with a sexual edge; think Gucci when Tom Ford was creative director. However, this time around the look for men could be described as combustion of ‘Edgy Sailor meets Corporate Rocker’ fused with a throwback to Grecian styles.

Sounds interesting, no?

Christie and I were surprised to see the looks strutting down the runway. The men were adorned in sheer linen button downs mixed with skin tight Bermuda shorts, paired with classic wingtip leather shoes. Of course, one could not ignore the chained accessories worn around the shoulder, alike a boy scouts badge collection. Fur and hard metallics juxtaposed the crisp whites and pastels. The only colours in the collection besides shades of white and black were lilac and pale yellow; a unique choice for a menswear collection.

Ironically those colour choices actually made the collection less sterile.

Every menswear collection showcases models that employ a signature look to enhance the storyline the designer is attempting to express. This case it was taught, muscular men with ripped abs and pecks. The heads were shaved, and the eyes were brooding. Lizares has a personal definition of masculinity, and this showcased it completely.

We loved the looks, albeit it not as realistic for the casual men in our life, we both appreciated the fantasy that Lizares inspired. Our favourite moment was the last model- typically intended to be the showstopper-who wore a tight set of rhinestone briefs and a Gladiator inspired cape. He walked down the runway with authority, and ended the show by raising his arms warrior style to fully express the intensity that is Lizares.

For more pictures of this amazing runway show, please check out:
http://lgfashionweek.ca/Designer.aspx?id=96