FYI - IT IS NOT OK TO ____________________FILL IN THE BLANK
Make fun of/comment on every part of/ask unrelated questions during every television show and/or movie your partner may be watching just because it may not also interest you.
"Go commando" when wearing casual shorts if there is any chance you may be seen neighbors, family members, another human being (especially those no taller than your waist).
Work late/go out after work, not call and then respond grouchily "I already ate" like said partner is a gigantic idiot for not knowing or (b) complain that you didn't want to make dinner when your partner is working late because you "didn't want to cook only for yourself" and you didn't know the plan.
Tell a caller to "hold on" and then hand over the phone to ______________ (insert name of partner) when asked if you would like to meet for dinner/get together/go to a party.
Make your partner put the kids to bed every night because "they like you better" while you watch sports/Entourage/any Adam Sandler movie while half asleep on the couch.
Watch cat or dog run around with empty tissue boxes on its head.
Respond "BECAUSE YOU NEVER SHUT UP" when your partner's best friend asks you why you think she has not yet found a husband.
Yell at/be grouchy to/blame others when you determine that you left your book/coffee cup/briefcase/newspaper/gym bag on the roof of your car before driving away.
Stay at work/gym late until you know the kids are already in bed so you don't have to deal with bed time.
Challenge nephews to snort hot sauce for cash.
Refuse to see a doctor about snoring problem/sleep apnea and then complain that partner is not happy to receive your nudge at 4:30 AM for "a few hours of fun" before work.
Tell your partner "I am ready to go whenever you are" only to make him/her wait for you while you grab keys/take out some cash/put on shoes/go to the bathroom/wait for the commercial while waiting for you in the idling car.
NOT THAT ANYONE WOULD ACTUALLY DO THAT ...
Photo Credit © Dennis Owusu-ansah | Dreamstime.com
Jayne Costello Goode lives in Massachusetts with her husband, son, daughter and parents. She is a writer, attorney, mediator, special education advocate and very active member of her family.
Hey, I think I know this guy. Thank goodness he is not my husband.
You will be happy to know that these are not all the same man, but rather a list that I have composed based on situations many people have shared with me. I don't think anyone could take all of these situations from one person!
When read "Challenge nephews to snort hot sauce for cash.
" offending gentleman said "That's still funny!" - imagine that!