Busy rushing from one activity to another, but not 100% sure how your child feels about any of them? Do you know what your child wants to be when he/ she grows up?When our son was three we enrolled him in soccer. Everyone said it was the best sport for energetic little boys and would encourage self-confidence. And of course, it was the "in" game in our hometown. He played for two seasons and participated in multiple soccer camps. Then one day, I took the time to actually ask him how he liked soccer. His response, "I hate it. I just do it because you and Daddy want me to." Why had I never actually asked him before now? I knew with his answer we really needed to connect.
There are a few tips I share with you for bringing you and your children back in sync.
1. When together, be together. When you are with your child, make sure you are truly paying attention to your child. We all get extremely busy with daily activities and chores. Including your child in as many of these activities not only increases his/ her self-confidence, but you are able to share a moment that he may tell you was his most favorite when he is an adult.
2. Flatter and Flirt. Best-selling author and syndicated columnist, Ronda Rich, informs us in her book What Southern Women Know About Flirting (Perigee Books) the art of flirting is simply to find the best in the other person and concentrate on it and them. We all love for people to pay attention to our strengths and offer occasional compliments. And we definitely know the importance of discipline. By providing positive feedback in a fun way, I found the results to be much more effective. For example, when my son shares his favorite toy with another child, I am fast to give him a compliment on how sweet he is to share something special with his friends.
3. Just talk. There are constant opportunities throughout the day to have a great conversation with your child. Sometimes, my son is not in the talking mood. And some days, he opens up about his hopes, dreams, fears, and why he loves asparagus. We have great discussions while driving down the road, fixing dinner, and snuggling at bedtime. I try my best not to push too much and just ask simple questions. Our chats keep me in tune with what he is thinking and make me feel like I am a part of his world. Just the other night he told divulged to me his thought of his God-given talent, singing (in addition to golf). I would not have thought this would have been his choice, but now that I know I can nurture it.
Parenting Coach Nancy's favorite quote from parenting expert Barbara Coleso, "There is no one way to raise our children, but a path we must find." Similarly, there is no one way to connect with our children, but a lifestyle of fostering connections at every opportunity.
I still have moments where I do not feel completely in sync with my son. These are the opportunities that I grab hold of to spend some quality time together and get back on track.
Photo Credit © Sparkia | Dreamstime.com
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