When we are either surprised by the blessing of having kids or have planned it out to the most minute detail the last thing on our minds is any kind of plan to be a mentor.Sure, we worry about what kind of parent we will be. We think of the obvious changes in our life style that begin with a pregnancy and continue on as we have additional children. You suddenly realize that "someone" very small depends on you for everything!
In this life change, we realize that we will have an everlasting influence on these little people. In some cases this is for the positive. In other cases we would like to have a redo. That's life, really. My wife and I have joked on occasion that our first son got to be the experimental probe. Try this, great it worked! Try that, oops that didn't work so well. Try again and so forth. Hopefully we have improved with each successive child and become wiser in how we relate to the children as a whole unit as well as individually.
We marvel at how different they all are, that they have very unique aptitudes and interests. Some personality traits become evident and you realize that no matter how much pressure you put on yourself, you can only hope to be a good mentor by your example.
Give your children a strong, positive foundation. Be a mentor in how you approach things and take on challenges. Give your kids the opportunities to figure out what it is that they really have a passion for, what it is that they really feel Joy in doing! If you can help them to discover this about themselves then I believe you have become the Mentor you should be.
The most profound suggestion I have; truly appreciate each child's uniqueness and abilities. It has taken me a while to realize that they are not all going to like what I like or what my wife likes. At first this made me angry! They should like what I like - I'm their Dad and that's reason enough! Ha ! Ya know what? The fact that some of them do and some of them don't is the best blessing of all and really makes them that much more interesting. It makes me reflect on how we have all been created to be truly unique individuals. We all have free will to make choices as we grow. These will also shape us as we grow throughout our lives.
So as parents we need to stop, be quiet, watch our children and appreciate every second of every day that we have them, as life itself is very fleeting. The best way to mentor them is to accept them, show them how as fathers we love our wives. We are here to protect and correct them as our children and to let them know that they are given precious individual gifts that they are responsible to cultivate into the best they can be. As parents we are to help shape our kids for a greater purpose.
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