Here’s how to deal successfully with any physical or emotional challenge.  Spend just a few minutes a day, and as often as needed, taking yourself through the following three steps:

Step 1: Experience Your Challenge First, stop trying to get rid of your challenge; that never works and is even counter-productive – - the harder you try to fix yourself, the stronger your challenge becomes. Instead, begin to focus deliberately on the experience of your pain, craving, fear, ... Read More »]]>

By Dr. Brian Alman and Stephen Montgomery, Authors of The Voice: Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Discover Your Inner Wisdom

Here’s how to deal successfully with any physical or emotional challenge.  Spend just a few minutes a day, and as often as needed, taking yourself through the following three steps:

Step 1: Experience Your Challenge
First, stop trying to get rid of your challenge; that never works and is even counter-productive – - the harder you try to fix yourself, the stronger your challenge becomes. Instead, begin to focus deliberately on the experience of your pain, craving, fear, sadness, and so forth. Let yourself become fully aware of all your difficult thoughts, feelings, and sensations – - everything that’s part of your challenge. Then flow right into accepting your experience just as it is. And last, find some private way to express everything you’re thinking and feeling – - go ahead and say it all to yourself, write it down, act it out in your imagination. When you go deep inside and experience your challenge thoroughly and wholeheartedly, you learn what it feels like to be in touch with your true, authentic self, and this begins to empower the voice of your inner wisdom.

Step 2: Judge Your Challenge
Next, you need to deal constructively with your Inner Judge, that self-critical voice in your head that’s quick to blame you and punish you for your mistakes and imperfections- – even for being challenged at all. Poised in opposition to your true healing voice, your Inner Judge is the tireless voice of your social/family programming, and it’s been drilled into you for so long that there’s no getting rid of it. In fact, if you try to fight your Inner Judge, you only end up being more judgmental- – you are, in effect, judging your Judge- – and this only gives it energy.  As in Step 1, the better way is to become aware of, to accept and to express your Inner Judge. Only by embracing your Inner Judge and working with it can you relax this controlling, over-analyzing, never-satisfied, endlessly adversarial part of your mind.

Step 3: Resolve Your Challenge
Finally, as you experience and engage positively with all your pain and negativity- – as you embrace all the thoughts, feelings, and self-criticisms that are driving your challenge- – you find yourself spontaneously developing a new and more loving relationship with yourself. This new perspective on yourself naturally quiets the many strident voices of your challenge clashing in your mind, and almost immediately you begin to hear your true, authentic voice, your deep intuition, your TruSage. This voice is the real source of your healing power- – it’s where all your own best answers come from. And once you’re able to listen to your voice, you quickly and effortlessly imagine creative ways to resolving your challenge. It’s as if new ideas for health and happiness simply bubble up from your unconscious. And the more you listen, the more the craving, the pain, the fear- – whatever your challenge- – just dissolves away. It’s really quite a miracle. And I don’t use the world “miracle” very often.

That’s all there is to it: 1-2-3. In no time at all, you’ll be moving quickly through the process, feeling confident that you can manage your challenge, instead of having it manage you.

The above is an excerpt from the book The Voice: Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Discover Your Inner Wisdom by Dr. Brian Alman and Stephen Montgomery. The above excerpt is a digitally scanned reproduction of text from print. Although this excerpt has been proofread, occasional errors may appear due to the scanning process. Please refer to the finished book for accuracy.

Copyright © 2010 Dr. Brian Alman and Stephen Montgomery, author of The Voice: Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Discover Your Inner Wisdom.

Dr. Brian Alman, author of The Voice: Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Discover Your Inner Wisdom, is on of the world’s leading authorities on mental fitness and mind/body wellness. During his thirty years of private practice, he has coached and trained more than ten thousand people on quality-of-life issues such as weight loss, stress reduction, pain control, problem-solving, relief from addictions, and disease management. Through his company, TruSage International, Dr. Alman reaches many hundred thousand more. TruSage International i mind-body wellness company that helps clinics, hospitals, and specialists deliver high-quality, personalized follow-up through wireless technology.

Dr. Alman has worked with dozens of world-class organizations – - including Apple, Harvard Medical School, Kaiser Permanente, Kraft, Procter & Gamble, Sony Pictures, the University of California, and the University of Paris. He is the author of five books, including Six Steps to Freedom and Keep it Off: Your Keys to Weight Loss for Life, which was favorable reviewed by Deepak Chopra in the New York Times. Dr. Alman studied at Suffolk University in Boston and received a PhD in clinical psychology at the California School of Professional Psychology in San Diego.

Stephen Montgomery, co-author of The Voice: Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Discover Your Inner Wisdom,is the editor-in-chief of Prometheus Nemesis Book Company, the publishers of Dr. David Keirsey’s works on personality types and temperament styles. Montgomery has worked with Alman for twenty years and is the co-author of his most recent book, Keep It Off.

For more information please visit TruSage International or follow the author on Facebook and Twitter

Photo credit © Jason Stitt | Dreamstime.com

We strive so hard to do the right thing, get the right job, wear the right clothes, or meet the right person that it sometimes feels like we are living someone else’s life. We are in an era where if we choose one thing, we are afraid all other options might disappear. Get married, and you’ll never be intimate with anyone ever again. Have a baby, and lose out on your dreams. Take the corporate job with the big check, and lose a little bit of your soul. Get a killer body, but give up every single thing you love ... Read More »]]>

We strive so hard to do the right thing, get the right job, wear the right clothes, or meet the right person that it sometimes feels like we are living someone else’s life. We are in an era where if we choose one thing, we are afraid all other options might disappear. Get married, and you’ll never be intimate with anyone ever again. Have a baby, and lose out on your dreams. Take the corporate job with the big check, and lose a little bit of your soul. Get a killer body, but give up every single thing you love to eat. As I ponder these things (having fallen prey to them myself), I must ask: Who says?

Most of these questions are based on fear: fear of the unknown, fear of missing out, fear of making the wrong decision. Where is the unwritten rule that says by choosing one thing, all others disappear? Let’s take marriage for instance. There are endless jokes about marriage and billions of divorces to prove how “miserable” some people are. It is assumed if you get married, that you are on lock-down, that you will get bored, or that life will inevitably become stale and boring. Just because some people have experienced this does not mean that you will too. But there’s that fear… “If I get married, there’s a chance it won’t work out.” And the “what ifs” start piling up. It happens with money, with family, with everything. “I must have security!” you say. “Security!” Security means paper, which means money. And while money provides a sense of freedom, it’s not worth doing something you abhor. Life’s not about “doing what you have to do” to make ends meet. That’s simply what we’ve decided it’s about. And perhaps it’s time to change.

It seems we often look to outside sources for the way things will/are supposed to be before we even decide for ourselves what we want to do or be. Your mother, father, teachers, mentors or friends can’t tell you what you should be doing. Just because you’re 35 doesn’t mean you have to have a husband, a steady paycheck, a mortgage and 2.5 kids. That’s the beauty of this world – we can do whatever we want. We can start over, move away, re-ignite a passion and put happiness above what looks good. This can be somewhat of a singular path… and some people won’t quit a bad job, end a relationship or travel if they don’t have support behind them. Here’s some advice: support yourself.

Whatever it is that you do, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Examine and re-examine your life and what’s in it. Make changes. Take risks. It’s what life is all about.

Diet: In terms of the things you eat, you can’t set yourself up for a “diet” mentality. So many people ask: “What works?” What works is whatever works for you. The way food affects your body is a science. Just because I’ve found what works for me doesn’t mean it will work for you. But, there are some tried and true facts. Eat whole foods. Limit processed foods. Drink plenty of water. Exercise. It’s about making smarter choices more often and substituting crap with healthier foods. There’s no quick fix, no diet pill, no book or recipe that will work for you forever. It’s about finding out what you can live with while still living your life. Don’t take anything away. Just modify. Find a solution to your problem and make it part of your routine, just like brushing your teeth.

Exercise: If you are lucky enough to have a job that keeps you moving all day, then you are a step ahead. If these were different times and we actually had to get up to change the TV channel, or take stairs instead of the elevator and weren’t confined to our chairs, then we would be a lot healthier. If you added up all the hours of your life you have either been horizontal or confined to a chair, it would astonish you. You have to find activities that you love and the time when you love to do them. If you hate the gym, don’t go to the gym. Again, eating right and exercise should be about pleasure. Find something that you love and find ways to make it part of your daily routine.

Love: Perhaps the trickiest and most fluid occurrence in life is love. Love can start out fierce and fizzle, or creep up slowly and ignite, or end tragically, or cause bad decisions or an unbearable loss, or a happy ending/beginning. Love is mandatory. Without it, we would perish. When it comes to your own relationships, you have to decide what it is you really want, and realize that there is no perfect person. I’ve said it before, but you can’t and won’t get everything you need from one person, especially if you’re not self-satisfied in the first place. That being said, find someone who lets you be yourself, who makes you laugh, who you can simply be with. Don’t be concerned with what others think or constantly try to prove how great your mate is to the world. Be satisfied with what you have. If you’re not, then change it.

For the first time in my life, I am really happy with someone; it is a quiet happiness I have never known. I do not have to justify why we decided to get married, how I simply know this is the man I will grow old with, or how, after a few tumultuous relationships and many mistakes, I am completely and incredibly happy. It took a lot of self-evaluation, forgiveness and time alone before I could ever be open to wanting something real or lasting.

Start thinking about what it is you want and need in your life, and what you could do without. Each moment is precious. Don’t waste them. Got questions? I’m here!

Rea Frey is an author, personal trainer and nutrition expert. She writes about living a balanced life at www.reafrey.com and also runs a food blog at www.chicagonow.com/cleanconvenientcuisine. She is the Cheeky Life Coach for Cheeky Chicago and has 2 weekly columns: one for vegans and one for brides looking to have beautiful but inexpensive weddings. Her book, The Cheat Sheet: A Clue-by-Clue Guide to Finding Out if He’s Unfaithful (Adams Media) will be released this summer.

Photo credit © Richard Schramm | Dreamstime.com

Plushy Feely Corp. has just released Kimochis {www.kimochis.com} … Toys with Feelings Inside. Awarded the Creative Child Magazine 2009 Seal of Excellence and Best Vacation Products by Dr. Toy.

Are you a Kimochi Cloud? A Kimochi Bug or Kimochi Huggtopus?

Kimochi (KEY.MO.CHEE) means “feeling” in Japanese and each 13 inch Kimochis character comes with 3 plush “feelings” and a how-to- Feel Guide with tips for parents on ... Read More »]]>

Kimochis is a truly dynamic and innovative brand that is growing as we speak. A brand run by mom entrepreneurs! With an already strong following, even celebrities like Angelina Jolie, Gwen Stefani and Jennifer Garner can’t resist.

Plushy Feely Corp. has just released Kimochis {www.kimochis.com} … Toys with Feelings Inside. Awarded the Creative Child Magazine 2009 Seal of Excellence and Best Vacation Products by Dr. Toy.

Are you a Kimochi Cloud? A Kimochi Bug or Kimochi Huggtopus?

Kimochi (KEY.MO.CHEE) means “feeling” in Japanese and each 13 inch Kimochis character comes with 3 plush “feelings” and a how-to- Feel Guide with tips for parents on connecting with their kids during emotional moments. Feelings can be messy…Kimochis can help!

Kimochi’s goal is to create compelling stories and loveable characters that will build confidence and self-esteem in our children and serve to strengthen parent-child connections. The toys are for everyone and help with parent-child connections: children with autism to a child who wants to play, the adorable characters help children express their feelings more easily. Younger children can use Kimochis to learn to identify feelings while older children can use the Kimochi to work through communication challenges.

The stuffed toys are revolutionary in that they’re not just stuffed toys. Kimochis is helping kids learn to express their emotions in POSITIVE ways, in hopes of possibly helping to prevent future tragedies. They are meant to teach children and parents how to interact with each other and express themselves, developing their emotional intelligence with the Kimochis Feel Guide book – teaching  parents on connecting with their kids during emotional moments. The bag of emotions (happy, sad, grumpy) allows the child to relate and easily express their emotions to their friends, parents , teachers – holding an emotion and describing what they’re feeling and why.

Now is the right time to invest in the emotional intelligence of our children. With Kimochi, all children and adults can relate to them and it opens the opportunity for communication and education.

Nina Rappaport-Rowan, Kimochis Founder and mompreneur, was struck with the horrible Columbine High School incident, thinking how could something like this have happened? It made her dig deep and question why. What is missing? What are we not doing right with our children that they can be so disconnect and so self destructive? This very thing was the inspiration that drove Nina to create the Kimochis. The goal is to get parents and kids talking to each other. Creating original children’s products and animated family entertainment, the company wants to create compelling stories and loveable characters that will build confidence and self-esteem in our children and serve to strengthen parent-child connections.

Nina was the perfect person to launch such an idea! She is a leader in the field of animation. Producer of the 1998 Academy Award winning Best Animated Short Film, Bunny, Nina is known for her expert knowledge of computer animation and her skill in developing teams that can tackle innovative and complex CG projects. She is primarily know as a Producer in the family entertainment industry overseeing children’s books, animated feature films and animated TV projects. She has other amazing moms on the Kimochi team, helping build the brand.

Nina and her team are reaching out to kids and families in hospital situations, for social workers, adoption and special needs. Kimochis is a toy for everyone with the added benefits!

Chic Galleria and Kimochi is excited to be giving away a Cloud character to 1 lucky Chic Galleria reader.  Just leave a comment on this article and answer this question, “What is Cloud’s favorite color?” You will probably have to visit the website to find the answer! The winner will be chosen at random from those who leave a comment and the winner will be announced November 16, 2009. www.kimochis.com

Congratulations Kiley Smith!

I’m not sure where  this quote is from, nor who wrote it for that matter, but please accept this “unknown” accreditation; to the marvel that wrote these words: “Music is the lamb that has made a lion of me”.

First, I must describe the positive characteristics of a lion. Lions are loyal; they are known as ‘the king of the jungle’. Lions have a great sense of protection of their pact and family; they are associated with bravery and passion. The meaning of a lion in this quote is ... Read More »]]>

“Music Is the Lamb That Has Made a Lion of Me”

I’m not sure where  this quote is from, nor who wrote it for that matter, but please accept this “unknown” accreditation; to the marvel that wrote these words: “Music is the lamb that has made a lion of me”.

First, I must describe the positive characteristics of a lion. Lions are loyal; they are known as ‘the king of the jungle’. Lions have a great sense of protection of their pact and family; they are associated with bravery and passion. The meaning of a lion in this quote is to take the strong positive characteristics that you have the power to see in such a royal animal and have the ability to see them in yourself.

There are many different benefits of music: there are health benefits, educational benefits, romantic benefits and the list goes on. The benefit that I want to focus on is that of the soul. Deep…I know – but that is what music is…deep. Many people may not realize the true affects that music has on one person, they just go on listening and reaping the constant good that music can do for ones overall self. Music has a magical way of quieting the soul so that it allows you to still be aware of your surroundings, while at the same time being able to reflect on the brilliance of your life and the life around you. This is really just my personal experience. I am sure there is someone out there that doesn’t appreciate music to the extent that I do. Let me guarantee you though; that there is no one out there that hasn’t or won’t listen to some sort of music. Everyone has some form of music, even those that cannot hear, they can hear music through the power of colours and feelings, and the personal touch as their other senses are more enhanced than others.

Music has the ability to lift a mood or to calm one down, it gets you excited and passionate about whatever it is that you feel like being passionate about. At times in my life, well actually almost my whole life to this date, music has been my driving force. Without it, frankly I would be lost. It’s funny how so many momentous occasions are celebrated with music. Think about it. Lullabies when you were a child, birthdays, graduation, your first dance, maybe your first kiss, your first time, your first breakup, your wedding song, and even right to the end…your funeral. The list could go on and on. Music is always there for you when you are down and out, happy and gleeful. Most of all music gives you courage to meet your goals and helps you push along the path of life.

There are some songs for me that I love to listen to when I am feeling discouraged. These are the best. Currently I am loving Battlefield by Jordan Sparks. Can I just say, “AMAZING!” It really spells it out in regards to love and relationships; relationships not only with your partner but with yourself. Music teaches you or re-teaches you that it’s hard work but, man, is it worth it to fight it out for you and for the one you love.

My music love list goes from Sarah McLachlan – Hold On, to Pearl Jam – Yellow Ledbetter, Jason Mraz – If It Kills Me, Melissa Ethridge – Breath, Foo Fighters – Everlong, to Mozart – Moonlight Sonata. It is Mozart who said “Music, even in situations of the greatest horror, should never be painful to the ear but should flatter and charm it, and thereby always remain music.” How true those words are. Music is a complement and almost a soundtrack to your everyday life. When you watch a movie, what is it that above all else pulls you into the scene? The acting of course – but it is the music that keeps you there. Try watching a horror film without the music, I bet you that it wouldn’t be as scary. Music has an impact on so many aspects of our lives and can bring a community together. There are so many countless ways in my own life that I can use to describe the affects that music has had. When you go to a concert for your favorite band or singer do you not feel a sense of, if not magic, excitement. Everyone at that stadium or park or old dingy bar is there for the same reason, to celebrate the talent of the artists and to join in a celebration of the music that they brought to your life. I was at a Jason Mraz concert a couple of weeks ago and it was so fun to feel the energy everyone had and to know that it was so similar to the way that you were feeling. The excitement just bursted out of the Amphitheater. Another time earlier this week I was walking downtown and there was some Mexican or Spanish 4 man entourage on the street corner playing some amazing tunes. Everyone, strangers just walking down the street, all stood and watched and listened to the same music. People who had probably barely any common interests, but these strangers were gathering for the same purpose, this simple act of listening to music.  One of my favorite memories recently, however, is that of my family. It was a normal dinner at the parents house, and yet not so typical. My brother, who is forever a child at heart which I love, brought down his newly purchased Rock Band video game. My whole family, my mom, my dad, my other half, and my brother all sat down and challenged ourselves to try and play and sing these songs. It was just hilarious. The fact of the matter is that music created this cherished memory of my dad trying to sing Give it Away Now by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and mom singing Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran. We all laughed and sometimes there were tears of pain from the bad singing, but overall music brought my family together and made my soul feel the warmth of the love that existed in our family and for music.

The quote really says it all, in not so many words.
“Music is the lamb that has made a lion of me.”

Photo Credit © Yuri Arcurs | Dreamstime.com