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BECOME your Extraordinary SELF!

Be open to the lessons ...walk through life open to self improvement that which is best to help you evolve.

Control you own destiny
Is it going to be easy...is the path going to have no obstacles...

NO...

Yet, they can be overcome.

If things go wrong, you hit a dead end-as you will- we all do
It's just life's way of saying time to change course.

If you ask the life quest... Not... Why is this happening to me?
But... What is this here to teach me?

You will move forward, grow and enrich your spirit.

Photo Credit © Taiga | Dreamstime.com

It's amazing to think that in a world filled with billions of people each of us should experience love only once during our entire lives.  As a child I believed in Prince Charming and happily ever after, but as I've grown and my life has taken some surprising turns, I find that there hasn't been what I would call "one true love" but rather an assortment of loving relationships that have brought me both great joy and pain.  While each has run its course, they have all left me with important realizations about life and revealed new things about myself.  And though I think back on each with mixed feelings, the one constant has been that each change initiated an enthusiasm in me to look forward to the next adventure and expanded my capacity for understanding, passion, and clarity.

I believe that people come into our lives at different times and for different reasons.  I first fell in love very young and that seemed to have been the hardest relationship to get over.  Since then I have been lucky enough to fall in love several times and these experience, I believe, have led me further down the path to where I am supposed to be.

Consequently each relationship has also taught me how to fully process emotions and recognize what's important in life.  I mean, if I didn't feel the elusiveness and disappointment of a handsome, irresponsible rogue would I ever be able to appreciate a mature, dependable man?  If I never had to deal with lies and deception would I ever understand the importance of truth?  And if I never felt the sting of betrayal, would I know the peaceful security of devotion and respect?

Think about the things you take for granted everyday, and consider never being able to have them again; simple things like your car, coffee, or chocolate.  You go about your business each day just accepting that these things are there for your use but no real emotion is attached because of their consistency in your daily life.  And it's the same thing with people.  Living each day safely "in the middle" without cheers or jeers is boring!  I believe that without taking risks and maybe experiencing a little heartache, we can't truly know how great love can be.

So if you find you are still waiting to be swept off your feet by Mr. Right, take a moment to consider what's going on in your life now.  The "one true love" for you at this moment might be different from the person you looked for in the past or who you may want in the future.  I believe that as long as we keep moving forward, the circumstances of our lives will change.  And each new situation requires us to expand our interests and interact with new people -- friends and lovers who will love us and for whom we will feel love; people who will make us laugh, support our dreams, and accompany us on our journey at least in this phase of our lives.  And isn't living in the moment all we can really do anyway?

Photo Credit © Jonas Gunnarsson | Dreamstime.com

He references a conversation that the two of you had within the first few months of dating.  Something you said that showed him who you really were.  It was done in a joking manner, but it still was the truth.  So did that comment hold fast in his memory all these years, or did it resurface after being buried amongst the denial? 

I don't think that people necessarily change for other people.  I think there is give and take in any relationship. Change never really works out, does it?  Is there a reason why a woman suddenly shows an interest in baseball when she never cared before?  Or how about the man who tells her he likes to dress up and go out to dinner?  Seriously?  I have to assume that it has to do with acceptance.  Everyone has a need for that.  But at what price?

I honestly don't care for the cliches.  "We've grown apart", "We're on different planes", "We aren't the same people we used to be."  No, I've always been this person. I hid part of me under the pretense that I thought we were happy.  So maybe it's just easier to go along for the ride and kid yourself that you can eek out the real you in small increments.  Eventually you have gathered enough courage to really come to life, but are hit head on with the reality that it wasn't what the other person wanted to have happen.

So here you are.  Your character flaws exposed and now used against you.  All he said about you "changing" is really who you have always been.  You didn't change. You just never realized until now that, who you really are, was not what he had in mind.

Photo Credit © Andrea Rankovic | Dreamstime.com

The individual challenge for all of us?

FIND WHAT WORKS... on a regular basis!

We each have areas that we tend to be more proficient in. There are different personality types so this makes sense. And since each of us can be very different in that way we can also be very different physically.

Here is the challenge and the key - finding what works for our individual body type and metabolism. Then make it interesting and fun enough to do it consistently.

We all know that we need to eat a well balanced diet and combine that with exercise and an active lifestyle.

Professional athletes take this to a whole new level, measuring aspects like VO2 max( how their bodies use oxygen & how fast they can recover), body fat percentage, blood glucose, resting and max heart rates. The list goes on and on. But their primary goal in all of that is to find the ultimate combination to maximize their potential, turning it into a tangible result.

There are a few things that can derail us from our action plan. These are typically injury and sickness. And there is always the business of life (big excuse) so we are going to throw this one away. There...gone for good, right? Now let's assume we stay relatively healthy, ignoring soreness, stiffness and fatigue.

Now let's assume we are organized, have a game plan AND we are going to be flexible when life throws it's inevitable curve balls at us. Done.

Here's where the hard work begins. We really have to make the effort to listen to what our bodies are telling us. They are truly incredible pieces of machinery and when we tune them up by eating right and exercising and getting enough rest they let us know that we have done a good thing either by our physical appearance or by how we feel. We have energy, we don't get sick or at least not as often. It's like looking after a high end sports car. You give it the very best of fuel and attention and it performs to it's optimum. You have the best opportunity to succeed!

Do not get discouraged because it can take awhile to figure out what exactly works best for each of us. And just to make it more interesting our bodies change as we get older, kind of like a classic car, and it may take a little more care to keep it performing. Here's where the automobile analogies end. We cannot trade it in for a new model !!!!

Bottom line- it's worth taking the time to figure out what works for each of us. We all know the common sense basics, it's in the fine tuning that we can really reap the rewards. If you try one thing and it's not working quite the way you want, change it! Experiment. Try again and keep doing this until you get results because it is worth it. Not to mention how you feel mentally, you just feel good about yourself when you exercise! Mental & Physical go hand in hand.

Read Taking Action Part One

Today was a great day! It started off with some interval training at 6:45 AM on a beautiful path behind the old penitentiary that leads up to Table Rock. The scenery was majestic and as we got further along and took a look back over the Treasure Valley the sun was just rising over the hills casting a beautiful bright glow over everything we could see.

What a fantastic way to start every day!

The most powerful part of the morning was simply not hitting the snooze button on my day off and getting past the first 10 minutes when your mind wrestles with the fact that it is very early and your bed is very comfortable. To actually get up and do something, in this case something phenomenal for mind, body and spirit, is powerful indeed.

What is on my mind right now? The fact that it is way too easy to just put things off. The crazy part that we all know too well; it takes action to counteract procrastination , if taken it will both empower us & improve our day.

With this in mind I am going to overcome 'Me'. I seem to be my biggest obstacle when it comes to taking action, taking initiative and doing things that will do nothing but improve my quality of life or my families as well.

Has anyone out there ever had these thoughts or just me?

So, over the next few articles I will share with you how I am doing with many aspects that I think all people struggle with. Firstly, regular fitness training, like 3 to 5 times per week. Secondly, eating habits, all of them. I have committed to myself, my wife and family to get back in great shape. Not just for a few weeks or the summer but as a life style. I will have to get extreme to do this but I know in my heart that this is the time to do it; RIGHT NOW! Regardless of all that life throws at me.

All of this falls in line with a life full of order! This is not so easy when we are barraged by worldly challenges. I'm OK with that because ultimately none of us know how long we have so we should maximize each day.

Stay tuned... If you are currently embarking on an endeavor along these lines please comment back and let me know. The more people we can be accountable to the better.

Stop Sitting Around & Take Action Today!

Give yourself permission...

I'm pent up. Pressure, pressure, pressure. I need to vent, cut loose. I'm always on my best behavior. I can't remember the last time I did something silly or fun, laugh out loud...Sound familiar? What does it mean to have fun? What does it mean to have a good time? "

The proper function of man is to live - not to exist." -- Jack London

Do you ever feel like the energizer bunny?

Too often we go through life on autopilot, going through the motions and having each day pass like the one before it. Going, going and going.

That's fine, and comfortable, until you have gone through another year without having done anything, without having really lived life.

That's fine, until you have reached old age and look back on life with regrets.

That's fine; until you see your kids go off to college and realize that you missed their childhoods.

It's not fine. If you want to truly live life, to really experience it, to enjoy it to the fullest, instead of barely scraping by and only living a life of existence, then you need to find ways to break free from the mold and drink from life.

What follows is just a list of ideas suggested by Leo Babauta, obvious ones mostly that you could have thought of yourself, but that I hope are useful reminders. .

Love
Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren't already. If you have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone -- it doesn't have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person at a time. 

Get outside
Don't let yourself be shut indoors. Go out when it's raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot through grass. Pay close attention to nature.

Savor food
Don't just eat your food, but really enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly.

Create a morning ritual.
Wake early and greet the day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee.

Follow excitement
Try to find the things in life that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting adventure.

Find your passion
Make your living by doing the thing you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be difficult, but you only live once. .

Get out of your cubicle
Do you sit all day in front of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on the Internet? Don't waste your days like this. Break free from the cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or becoming a freelancer. It's worth it. .

Travel
Sure, you want to travel some day. When you have vacation time, or when you're older. Well, what are you waiting for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon. You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don't check email but once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world. 

Rediscover what's important
Take an hour and make a list of everything that's important to you. Add to it everything that you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them.

Exercise
Get off the couch and go for a walk. Eventually try running. Or do some pushups and crunches. Or swim or bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you'll love it. And life will be more alive.

Be positive
Learn to recognize the negative thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints, the reasons you can't do something. Then stop yourself when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. Solutions. You can do this! .

Kiss in the rain
Seize the moment and be romantic. Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving home, Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send a love note. Dress sexy. 

Slow down
Life moves along at such a rapid pace these days. It's not healthy, and it's not conducive to living. Practice doing everything slowly -- everything, from eating to walking to driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do.

Play with children
Children, more than anyone else, know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun. Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them. Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them.

Take mini-retirements
Don't leave the joy of retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you're young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a year off every few years. Save up; sell your home, your possessions, and travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of years.

Do nothing.
Despite the tip above that we should find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating. Doing nothing as in sitting there, doing nothing. Just learning to be still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do this daily if possible.

Watch sunsets, daily
One of the most beautiful times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so. 

Break out from ruts
Do you do things the same way every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle. Look at things from new perspectives.

Laugh till you cry
Laughing is one of the best ways to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy. Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You'll love it.

Make an awesome dessert
I like to make warm, soft chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies, are great. This isn't an everyday thing, but an occasional treat thing. But it's wonderful.

Try something new, every week
 Ask yourself: "What new thing shall I try this week?" Then be sure to do it. You don't have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your life. 

Be in the moment
Instead of thinking about things you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation, but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you can in everything you do.

There comes a point in your life when you realize
 
who matters,
 
who never did,
 
who won't anymore...
 
and who always will.
 
So, don't worry about people from your past,
 
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
 
 
It's about love, it's about compassion, it's about kindness, and faith. It has nothing to do with luck. You get what you give so give good.  

Part of getting organized is realizing that there is never a perfect time for it and that there is power in just starting and doing. As you progress, you can prioritize your life in terms of what the most important activities are based on your individual goals.

This sounds a lot easier than it is with our daily routines of work and family duties. It is all too easy to go through the daily mundane tasks we all share and decide by days end that you have had a productive day. In fact I was just discussing this with my wife. Should we be striving to find a way to be able to outsource these tasks or should we embrace them for the purpose they serve?

What do I mean by this? Are we mentoring our kids to be responsible stewards of all that they get or will have in the future? We all should appreciate everything we are blessed with and take care to look after those things. This is just common sense, right? I do appreciate the fact that my children will know how to cook, look after their pets, sew, do their own laundry and mow the grass, just to name a few activities. These are essential life skills so that they will be able to function in life.

What about activities that really produce change that we want in our lives? Can we exchange some of the mundane responsibilities for more of the purpose filled activities that   

make life exciting and challenging? I am working on this. You see I am the personality type that finds it easy to get into a daily routine, focus on the task at hand and then repeat. This is a blessing and a curse. It can also make a person seem one dimensional really quickly. It also stops anyone from really knowing who we are and what matters to us.

I have the ability to see things through but also the stubborness to keep at it when it is not working. It is the definition of insanity 'where you do the same thing over and over and expect a different result'. Unfortuntely, my wife has seen me do this first hand and felt the failure in this along with me. "If only I work harder, longer, better.... I know things will change for the positive"... if only this were true.

Ever heard the phrase "work smarter, not harder"? This is essential if we do not want to get sucked in to the thought process that we just need to put in more time.

I am at the point where I want to maximize my time in all aspects of life.

Produce while you are at work, use every minute to it's max but know when to shift gears and focus on other aspects of what makes life so exciting! Do not define yourself by what you do but by who you truly are and what you want to become. That sounds pretty cool doesn't it?

How do we do this? How do we make extra hours in our day in a day that has a finite amount of time? I am willing to bet that we have all asked ourselves this at one time or another. The first step is to organize and prioritize your days. Include activities that are in line with your purpose, your goals. Include fun activities that are good for your soul. Pretty soon when you hit the pillow at night you have had a very satisfying day. One filled with our daily 'have to' activities but most importantly life fulfilling activities like donating time to the betterment of others, your family and keeping relationships alive and well.

Include activities that improve your health, physically and mentally and spiritually so that we get recharged and fired up!

If we do not have a plan full of small action steps this is overwhelming. I know this first hand. I am not a planner. I have to become one! My family and friends will attest to this. I can easily fool myself into believing I have had a productive day if I go to work, make some money and tuck my kids into bed at night. Don't get me wrong, I know that individually these things are a blessing in their own right. I just want more. I believe many people do too.

The first step is realizing that life is more than the mundane and being willing to give yourself a chance to benefit from all life has to offer. Embrace organization, get prioritized, begin activities that will allow you to truly become a mentor to others. Life if full of endless opportunities if we decide to open the door ourselves and not wait for someone to come knocking first!

Join me now in this adventure!!

When was the last time that you played an enjoyable game?  
 
If you quit playing because it is a child's sport, then you are wrong.
 
 As George Bernard Shaw said, 
"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."
 
We know that kids, through play, can learn to make choices
and develop self confidence. They learn to try and try until they succeed, they learn to help others, and they even learn when to give up. 
 
Do we as grownups tend to forget that? They are unraveling the world at their own pace, they are in control. When was the last time we felt like that?! 
 
Friedrich Froebel said, "Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood, for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child's soul." 
 
If we could take a peek into our play less soul what would we find?!
 
I know it's a fast word out there, but we should pick our own speed, not just jump into the whirl. We should go back to basics. 
 
"Be daring, be different, be impractical, 
be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and
imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the
commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary." (C. Beaton) 

Life is full of choices. I am making a choice right now. I am writing. When I read this, it is almost comical in it's simplicity.

As people we must do. Now if you can take a goal, turn it into a plan with action steps and a time line and actually DO THEM great things grow from simple. A seed turns into a plant but only in the right conditions, with the right input and in a very orderly way.

The key is in the focused doing of simple individual steps all linked together in an orderly fashion to produce a phenomenal outcome!

Now, as humans we complicate things and get in our own way more often than not. So, how do we get passion for all we do and hold onto it, translating it into action to produce an extraordinary life?

Do not settle for what is expected. I have read many different books on overcoming, being a person of influence, excelling in life. Only to fall back into a pattern I tell myself I cannot get out of, a thought process of the average because it seems to be the easiest way. In reality it is the hardest. It takes no time at all to settle for what is deemed by the majority to be OK. The exact opposite of the top 5% rule. Running with masses is not what we should strive for.

"I've walked the road most travelled for too long."

It is not OK to make excuses!

The beauty of passion is that it does not even allow for negative self talk or excuse making. It fills your head with only possibilities and action steps. The amazing opportunity to start new every day. It's said, " life is short, get doing, act on the plans you have. Do not limit yourself because you are a miracle that was put on this earth to strive for your potential!"

The last 10 years of my life have flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was getting married to a beautiful woman in Bellingham, Wa, that we just had our first boy, Tristan, who is now 13. Now we have 4 awesome unique, young people that depend on us to teach them how to cultivate their own passions.

I believe we are accountable to show our kids through our actions how to do this. Do we always succeed? No, as I can attest to. But, do we need to refocus and challenge life daily to cultivate our own passions for life? Yes! This is my first baby step in starting what I know will be a very challenging, enlightening and fun filled experience as I embark into a new territory for me, different from that which I have known. Into an exciting arena filled with many ups and downs I am sure, but with the passion to put in the effort needed to challenge the expected.