When I first became single after a long relationship I felt empowered, liberated and confident. I was certain the world was my oyster and better things lay ahead. I looked forward to weekend getaways, late nights out on the town and daytime retail therapy with the girls, sure my remaining time would consist of being wined and dined by single, attractive men. I was certain my life would be full of cosmopolitans and Prada, investment bankers and champagne. I basically thought life would be all ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ when, in reality, it’s very much ‘Bridget Jones’. Minus the chain smoking, Hugh Grant and Colin Firth, of course.
I’ve come to the conclusion that being single in a smaller center is a different experience than being single in a large metropolis such as New York. It’s hard to have regular evenings out, trolling for men, when the bulk of your friends are at home, tending to their husbands and children. Prada is somewhat hard to find, and afford, when Carrie’s monthly rent is higher than your annual salary and the only big names in retailers are Walmart and Costco. It’s hard to look like a fashionista when your only clothing options consist of a cotton-poly blend.
Things are no better, I’m afraid, when it comes to the dating scene. While a ‘Carrie’ would ask herself “what’s his annual mean salary” and “does he have a house in the Hamptons” us small town girls are left to ponder “what’s wrong with him” and “are we somehow related”. After all, there are only so many men to go around and it’s a pretty safe bet that when the dating pool is actually a puddle the really good catches have either already been caught or just may be your cousin. And, like most surfaces of water, self-reflection is unavoidable… if the theory is that all the good men are gone than what must all the remaining single men think about all the single women? Surely not everyone can be the exception to the rule.
And when a date is finally to be had the location of such an event is limited. It’s hard to be creative, let alone romantic, when dinner options consist primarily of restaurant chains and evening activities include bowling or the local bookstore. Movies are always a good choice but those quirky independent films that got rave reviews at the Sundance Film Fesitival never seem to make it to the smaller corners of the world. If there’s any silver lining in the dark cloud of small town dating it’s the fact there’s almost always a Starbucks nearby. And while it may close well before midnight at least that means I can be home in time for the only reoccurring date I seem to be able to get these days… watching the Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
So while the dating scene where I live may not be what I had expected (or hoped) there are other aspects that more than make up for it: like the fact I can walk to work (if I don’t sleep in), that I can drive from one end of town to the other in less then 15 minutes (if there’s no construction) and no matter where I go I almost always run into someone I know. Too bad it almost always ends up being my ex…
Kristel is a Physicist, computer programmer and blogger, writing about everything from depression to dating… and sometimes even both! She lives in Saskatchewan, Canada and can be contacted at [email protected]
Photo Credit © Andres Rodriguez | Dreamstime.com
Tags: dating
5 comments
Posted by: Kristin on May 18, 2010 at 7:52 pm
Perfect!
Posted by: Theresa Jones on May 19, 2010 at 5:26 am
Ditto! Very well put! I can easily say that while I would love to lead the life of Carrie Bradshaw, always well dressed, well shod, surrounded by besties and a cosmo in hand…I do NOT! Small town or even big town for that matter does not provide the Hollywoodesque dating paradise one would hope for. However, life is what we make of it right? I keep telling myself that anyway! I’ve learned to look outside the box and to be creative, reassessing exactly what it is out of life. Even though the constant companionship of Ben and Jerry has left me with a closet full of clothes a little too snug…I may find myself weeping into the excess of pillows on my king size bed (bought for the dogs of course) but somehow, the next morning when the sun rises (and it always does) I am reassured that tomorrow is another day…and Prince Charming might just actually be around the corner…in the local bakery that doubles as our community post office!
Posted by: Kristel Gillies on May 19, 2010 at 8:39 am
Wow, Theresa… what a great comment! I couldn’t have said it better myself. Except for the fact I’m too cheap for Ben and Jerry’s, my bed’s a queen and the cat doesn’t take up that much room. You clearly have a great attitude and, really, you have the best of both worlds… a bakery that offers the possibility of doughnuts… and Prince Charming! Carrie’s got nothing on you!
Posted by: JMK78 on May 19, 2010 at 7:58 pm
Great read, Kristel! Had me hanging on your every word.
Posted by: Amanda on May 27, 2010 at 8:13 pm
Great article Kristel!